its weird that im talking to my mice right. hahaha i feel like people are only listening cos they have to. okay i dont know if my mice really wanna hear me mumble in their ears hahaha at least they love me right. i dont know what it is but i seriously need to do something so extreme to get my mind off stuff i dont dont dont dont dont dont wanna think about. racing games help. that's what i figured out today. love racing games ttm. just wanna destroy everything in my way. yea thats pretty much how i feel everytime i feel emo. auto destructive mode. no i seriously wanna scream and punch anything in the way. but thats not feasible right -_- hahaha

so i just shut the fuck up and stare into space.


i have this really sick and cruel wish but everyday im still hoping it'll come true. haha yes, this is probably the only thing NONE of my friends and family know about. none. god please make it happen.