its amazing how one small thing can spoil your whole day. furthermore its not even like the person knows that they spoilt your mood. oh wait, does the person even know you exist. fuck. im trying so hard to leave everything behind me but its not working. how did i manage to always leave the past behind? takes more than will power in my opinion. maybe if the person dies and burns in hell then i will forget them. PLEASE DIE OR MAKE YOUR ALRDY BURNT FRIEND DIE.

yes yes i know i promised alot of people to live happier. now that i am home alone i really want to hang myself or something. now i know why people like to commit suicide. whoever said commiting suicide doesnt end misery? stupid or what. dying ends EVERYTHING.

well anyway. big shout out to tiff joyce and hejun. had lots of fun with you guys yesterday. thanks for making me forget for a night. l4d was good. for every zombie that i killed i was picturing it to be people that i hate.

i just really need to vent it out now cos i think my friends are sick of hearing me complain about the same thing over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. ..................................................................................................................................
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im so speechless.

now i realise im not lacking anything. im not unhappy with anything thats missing in my life, well except for happiness. im just unhappy. unhappy to the CORE. DEEP INSIDE SUCH THAT IT CAN'T BE CURED OKAY. SO DONT TELL ME TO LIVE HAPPIER ITS USELESS. why am i even bothering to show people that i am happy. just let me wallow in my unhappiness and may my soul be dispersed in bits and pieces to all parts of the world.