okay hello! this post is gonna be filled with alot of pictures! okay im damn lazy to rearrange so i'll just blog about what pic comes up first.

my dinner! san remo's creamy mushroom and onion pasta. couldn't finish the whole thing though. i used to be able to eat 2 packets at once. :/ i take this as a good sign.


jiawen randomly sent me this picture hahaha i was so young :( i think i will cut fringe! man. but it took me like ten thousand years to grow my fringe to this length.sigh, think about it.


this was my meal from buddy hoagies the other day! theres my disgusting chicken :(


oh i bought bread from breadtalk on sunday cos i didn't want to eat such a heavy meal for lunch and it is officially the most horrible bread i've ever eaten. please, for your sake, dont ever buy this. its ham and cheese.


mahjong with nich on sunday night! he just refused to take a proper picture with me i have no idea why. he claims that he looked very ugly. :/


amandas dog hahahaha SO CUTE LEH.


okay pictures from scraplicious dinner!














okay! thats all!

life without work.

morning upper east siders. see, just one of the plus sides of living in the east hehe. and if you're wondering how upper comes in, i live on a hill thus the play on words.

so my weekend was fine. hope yours was too. had work on saturday so after work since every where is like closed already, we went to play mahjong with amanda and shaun. shawn. shaun. im really not sure which. it was a sad night anyway :( hahaha. shall not go into mahj terms. work on sunday morning. i dont know what sucks more, the fact that i sleep about 3 hours every saturday morning before going to work or the fact that i dont have the wisdom to not stay out till so late -_- so, work. went to eat at buddy hoagies, bukit timah plaza with baby after that. food was alright. ordered the wrong thing :((((( yes many many sad faces to show how upset i was. when it comes to food im really serious. so anyway i ordered barbecue chicken with honey barbecue sauce. UGH. the chicken was really good BUT i hate it when the sauce is really sweet :( i hate salty food with sweet sauce. hate. so i didnt get to enjoy my meal as much as i wanted to. :( but joshy was sweet hehehe we traded half of each others food hehe. so i got to eat salmon and chicken. what more can a girl ask for, sigh.
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went to play mahj, yes again, with geok anyu and nicholas after joshy went back to camp. haven't seen nicholas in such a long time. i actually have pictures for this post but im too lazy to upload them so i shall do so when i am really really free. ate maggie goreng at macpherson as usual, then came home to rest.

ANYWAY, i have no work until thursday! i spent monday finally getting the rest that i needed until about 8pm before i got out of bed heh. didnt eat the whole day so i pampered myself with a packet of cheese ruffles, yum. then i went to run w geok at night. every time i run i feel nothing but regret and a very imminent death. nevermind, effort shall prevail!

not sure what to do today (tuesday). shall probably sleep till evening and have dinner with my parents at night. thats the problem with not having work :/ theres nothing much to do when you dont have school nor work. of course, i could always exercise during the day and explore parts of singapore and take pretty pictures of the lush greenery but seriously, lets be real. heh.

okay i really wanna upload pictures from scraplicians dinner but i just realised this computer which was previously my dad's, doesnt have photoshop and since flash is really ugly (yes only ugly people dont like flash but im really not afraid to admit im not model material, pfft), i need photoshop to set the colors right and did you know downloading photoshop takes about 2 hours. and i started before i went to run which was 12 am but my computer hibernates after 30 mins? so its still in downloading mode now, after i switched it on again. so.... tomorrow! heh.

good night lower rest of the singapore.

hello bitches.

so lets start with updates from tuesday. yes tuesday to me means after i have slept and woken up not my previous blog post tuesday. didnt go to work cos i was coughing so madly my head felt like it was going to explode and i was running a slight fever. yes i know. i seem to fall sick so often these days when i used to be so resistant to every damn germ on this planet. fuck. and usually i'd still go to school and all if i were slightly sick but i seriously can't face customers like this and i cannot stand it when they look at me and cover their noses when i cough. like fuck you, i am trying to do you a favor by still bothering to serve you. so yes, on top of being sick, i was in a foul mood. (YES I KNOW, WHATS NEW.) pfft well fuck off if you can't deal with it.

so i stayed home till evening and joshy surprised me by telling me he could come out. so we went to eat bakerzin. their menu has changed drastically from the last time i went to eat with geok. dinner is really really limited now. as you can see below we both had pasta which is rare. cos one of us would usually order something different just so we could try something new.

so thats my prawn aglio olio, ice chocolate, ice mocha, mushroom soup and carbonara. they have free flow of bread too but they're not working the concept as well as cafe cartel used to. anyway overall, super overpriced for sub quality food. probably never going back there again.

went for a spin with joshy after. since we generally hit all the expressways in Singapore before we decided to hit the last one which we haven't hit which was ECP AYE. went all the way to the end where all the cool industrial areas were. i know its odd to call them cool but i am seriously fascinated with warehouses and their structures. not the ones at Ubi where they are all super clumped together and all. but the real industrial areas around Benoi road. yes okay, really weird thing to be fascinated about. we uncovered another hidden landed housing estate similar to the one near King Albert Park. this one was at Jalan Hang Jebat. its actually a malay general. yes ok i went to look it up cos i was really interested. so the houses actually looked like the one below.


which i think is really really cool luh even though we always discover such places at night and although all the lights in all the houses are always on but i have yet to spot any movement in the houses. i did see someone playing a computer that day though, so i felt more at ease. anyway another that makes it really cool is that its really hidden and josh and i just happened to discover it by accident cos its hidden by the expressway. we fled halfway though, cos we reached the 'end' of the road and there was another road ahead but it was completely dark and all the words were in malay so..... haha. fled.

i love taking long rides with josh. firstly he doesnt complain about his fuel though i know he should. well, thats why we dont do it often anyway. and we just turn the radio up and drive carefree with the wind in our hair. its the most awesome feeling ever.

lets skip wednesday. thursday came and i went to work for my PM shift for like 2.5 hours before the shop closed for a dinner treat from our boss Jessie. went to Dempsey's Contemporary Melting Pot &Bar. im not gonna lie. it was fucking awkward to begin with cos the seating arrangement was screwed. so it wasn't as enjoyable as it should have been. plus i hate social events as EVERYONE can tell. making small talk kills me. literally. well even though the company was meh, the food was awesome so thank you jessie for the wonderful treat. i have pictures but i obviously have not uploaded them cos, gee look at the time. haha.

met geok after that for l4d. felt so good to get out of formal wear. i dont really actually know what my dress code should be like. im like 22 this year and i think i looked appropriate but since everyone in the shop is so.. well. maybe i did look overdressed. meh. anyway l4d was a joke as usual. its always good to play with someone whose not constantly in competition with like everyone including themselves. total hate. i hate people who just have to be better at everything. well ok not everything like life and stuff but stupid things like l4d -_- gee. oh ok you win, you killed the most monsters whoohoo. so geok and i are the best combi cos we are constantly laughing our asses off.

decided to walk home after that (to make up for all the sessions we were supposed to go running but failed heh). walked from katong to eunos MRT where we decided to take a 5 min break and within this 5 mins the heavens decided to pour. i think i should be happy that it decided to pour when we were under shelter and not when we were walking. yup. so cabbed home and here i am.

photo i took for joshy when i reached home. i hate how white i look. pfft yes you can't see it here because i already added effects but i am super white even though i put like tons of blusher. waddup?



oh yes. last but not least, check out my phone.

i really dont know what the fuck happened. hahahaha. old already.

feel really..used/expendable/disposable/etc. maybe i am not worth it afterall. maybe i am not as good as i think i am. i have always believed my expectations of others will always be failed, but i never expected that i would not be able to meet the expectations of myself. i know this whole thing is detrimental but maybe thats what its like to be human: we do (and enjoy) whats detrimental and we shun whats good. like smoking, staying up all night, etc as compared to eating right, etc. ugh you know what i mean. is it worth putting my pride down for if it means nothing to someone else? :/

i guess my answer to that will always be yes cos as long as it matters to me i will keep fighting. this is how you know when i have really given up.

hello! im proud to announce that i passed my BTT. hahaha. ya ya okay i know those of you who got your license already are probably going "whatever, BTT is like the easiest hurdle of all". ya i dont disagree but its also the very first hurdle you have to pass which is important la cos if you fail you will be like wtf im so dumb i dont think i wanna drive afterall. ya. esteem buster.

okay updatesssssssss. i think i am made of metal or something of similar consistency. on wednesday i went for a run w geok at 1 plus 2am, then we chilled till 5am, i slept for 4 hours then went for morning shift at work. on friday night i went to send my sister off at the airport then i went to play l4d until 2 plus then we chilled till 5-6 and slept. woke at 10am and waited for joshy to wake up. after meeting him i went for dinner at my cousins place then i met joshy again to play mahj and watch champions league till 6am. napped for 3 hours then woke and went for full shift from 1030 to 10pm. went to read through BTT book w jiawen then after she went off i went to chill till 3. came home watch show till 5, slept for 4 hours, woke up for BTT test. had lunch w jiawen then by the time we went home i had to go prepare for afternoon shift. supper w jiawen after work and basically i have been awake until now. so i slept like 16 hours in 5 days HAHA. i actually can't believe i am able to work full shift in this state. i believe i was made for greater things HAHA.

yup that sums up everything that happened over the past few days. pictures!

katong laksa lunch on saturday

it was so hot joshy and i were like 2 vampires trying to get out of the sun.


work on sunday. hehehe first customer of Sharetea! no special discount whatsoever. boo. haha.

i was so tired i wore specs to work. but i think im gonna start doing that more often cos they are so much more comfortable. they are probably the only reason why i could get through work on sunday. dry eyes with contacts are a bitch.

hehehe pictures of my gerbils.

fucking cute please.

today joshy surprised me at work with starbucks haha. actually i already knew he was out. i think my gut feeling and my ability to piece puzzles together are superb. so anyway. white chocolate mocha!

okay yes thats it. i actually fell asleep blogging last night hahaha. im not made of metal afterall :( not going to work today cos im not feeling well. everyone around me is coughing. myself included. such a bitch i tell you. tsk. BYE.

hello !

yay my dad gave me his laptop cos mine officially died on me. and i didn't even get a chance to backup my files or whatever so im thankful that its not project period and my completed project was inside the laptop or something. now thats something worth crying about aint it. so, no more Vaio; hello Acer.

haha i think its pretty amazing that i found someone who will be as lame as me and entertain me like joshy.

yes, i do run a tight ship. ;)

made joshy upset so i did this to cheer him up hahaha. worked like a charm.

happy birthday cher! (18may) dont suddenly act one ang more when you come home haha.

so the past few days have been the same. work, sleep, chill, eat, sleep. i had major PMS this month man. never felt so moody before my period before. other times, yes. hahaha. everything annoyed me and i just showed everyone a black face so to all whom i did that to, im sorry. can't fight nature.

hmmm. thinking if i should stop work from next sem onwards because i won't be able to work 3 days cos im taking 3 modules and i dont want to be scheduled full on weekends either. so, thinking about it.. well. if there was an overnight shift job i'd take it :/

anyhoo, recently i've realised even more how lucky i am to have joshy. though sometimes we fight and stuff. like today i really felt like i was being punished for something that seemed like my fault but was actually something i couldn't control. its probably because im so dependent on joshy thats why im starting to take for granted that he will always be there. which i know is not true. a relationship requires effort on both sides. although his efforts may not be what i expected but in his own way (and if i really really wanna see it), he's giving it his all. so, thank you for being ever so patient with me seriously and for doting on me so much. i can't say much about my efforts.. i know i have been a PMS bitch these past few days and all but i promise, its only a few days every month :D

okay gonna watch shows! hehehe bye!

im so angry with what happened at Bugis a few nights ago and with what some retarded people are posting online that im speechless.

Nightmares and reality

morning cruel world. I had a nightmare last night which was in sync with the thunderstorm that was going on and the location was my room and the house so.. feeling abit dubious that it was a dream and I don't intend to go back to sleep :/ I can still feel myself struggling from sth that was pulling onto my dress from the darkness when I wanted to run away..

anyway. no work today! :D my timetable is the same as yizhen this week haha yay. I think I am trying rly rly hard not to be late alrdy. except if I rly oversleep then that's beyond my control huh.

Made a collage of my face for joshy yst hehe made him so happy :) I wish joshy had a camera phone -_- anw -cross fingers- ill probably see him later cos it's nights out :) yay!

BTT next week w jiawen. Shall go read the book now haha.

Just a little bit

I think I could stand to be a little more.. bearable, a little less.. critical and moody all the time.

This is a big sorry to everyone I've ever offended with my attitude. They say your character is who you are while your attitude depends on who you're dealing with. I think my attitude has become my character and I am just treating everyone equally. Equally bad, that is. I sometimes feel that without this, I have nothing. Would you rather no one ever remembered you or would you rather people hate you for who you are? Honestly I want neither.

Feeling really upset now because I feel like I let down someone who truly loves me when I flung my attitude in his face. I do think it's PMS; highly possible. But it's true, it's not the first time I've done it. Sometimes it's like I'm being possessed. I can't control the mean things that come out of my mouth. Sometimes I didn't mean to say it like that but a black cloud just comes over me and suddenly I feel like the person I'm talking to is such a fucking moron that I just have to scold them or show them a black face.

This is why I believe that when I die, it will do everyone good. No one will have to put up with my attitude anymore and I wouldn't have to live in guilt just 5 mins after I've scolded them. I feel like dying. God please take me away, you know it would make everyone happier.

Sincerely, cherryl

work and other 4 letter words

Morning sweet world ! I feel happy this morning. Not well rested, but happy :) Maybe because I'm eating a cheesecake for breakfast hahaha.

So, I survived work yesterday ! I can't believe I actually did it. Baby came to eat lunch with me :) Ate my fav cai peng opp parkway. Then he had to go :( And I thought I was gonna die in the shop cos I woke up at 5am and didn't sleep anymore. :O So time passed quite fast cos there was a 35% discount storewide till sunday and it was a busy busy day. Got called in to have a talk w my boss. No comments on that.

Met joshy after that and I literally fell asleep in his car while he was driving. which sucks cos we only have that much time together this weekend. I fell asleep while I was holding a cig can you believe that hahaha. damn epic. so we went home cos i couldn't take it anymore :( slept from 1 till now. I somehow think it's not enough but nevermind!

Oh i jail broke my phone, again, like two days ago. jailbroke my itouch before but couldn't really enjoy like much cos there was no 3G and can't make calls. anyway hehe I always choose this battery bar when I jailbreak. pic below!

Oh I got your postcard cherylyeooooz ! Will be in touch soon hehe.

okay I miss joshy badly :( gonna watch shows hahaha bye.

losing focus, losing touch

ughhhhh i have work tomorrow. i cant take a break from something for too long, like studies. i will lose touch and not feel like doing it anymore. besides not wanting to go (because no one i can actually talk to will be there), i actually can't really make it because i wanted to accompany joshy for something important tomorrow. but as usual no one can take my shift. i think its a good policy that you can swap shifts but quite useless in a sense cos no one will really help when they have a day off. like, who in the right mind would want to work when they are not scheduled right.

joshy couldn't come out of army tonight cos his leave wasn't approved. ughhhhhh for the second time. its always when i seriously miss him to the max that he can't be here. i hate army. its not teaching josh anything/making him a 'better' person and it kills my time with him.

ughhhhhhhhhhhh for the third time. im out of money. i spend money like i use tissue paper. like its free, if you know what i mean. and before spending i'll just tell myself that i'll just earn more. then i complain like a bitch when i have to go to work. the fuck?
super moody today. :(

i'll try and blog about stuff that happened before joshy told me he can't come out of army tonight.

met joshy for nights out last night. went to eat our favourite fu lin yong tau fu at siglap. then i went back to the shop for awhile and to meet jiawen. its amazing how when i want to work so badly im not scheduled and when i have something on, im scheduled. anyway. joshy sent us to my place then he went back to camp :( chatted for awhile then we decided that jiawen shld just stay over cos the photoshoot place which we went to today was super near my house. so we cabbed to jiawen's palce (i know damn stupid) to pack the clothes. geok came over later and we went for supper at the tau huay place in geylang. came back home and slept. (so sorry for the bad hospitality sbitch i really dont have a matress haha).

woke up this morning and didn't feel tired anymore, regret not sleeping longer cos i am damn tired now but i can't sleep cos i will wake up in the middle of the night. photoshoot at 130 so we grabbed some food and went over. took photos for her and halfway joshy told me he can't come out and this was when my mood really just hit rock bottom. but we finished the shoot anyway! dont favor studio shots cos they are really really really really boring. sorry if my mood was damn lousy today bitch :(

so im home now. thinking of what to do for the next 3 hours so that i can sleep till morning. sorry for the play by play. just can't think of anything interesting to blog about now but i just feel like blogging. im just gonna read my BTT book. yup. okay. good night.

post exam stuff

so hello, today was a pretty jinxed day. you'll see why. studied overnight at macs, headed home to shower then went for paper straight. when geok&lucien were already downstairs waiting for me to come down, i realised i couldn't find my house key. really couldn't. so long story short, i told them to go first and then i took a cab myself. which obviously burned a hole in my pocket. so thats that.

my exams have ended. felt like just yesterday that i was studying at macs for my first paper. well, time flies when youre having fun. so instead of going home to sleep like everyone else, i went to roxy square to get my hair done. kinda just wanted to sit and let someone service me. and clearly, dyeing your hair is not the way to go. i sat in the chair till i almost fell asleep. and my contacts were so dry and i just wanted to drop dead.

here i am. i chose a dark wine color. anyway i dont have any post pictures of my hair cos after that i could barely open my eyes and i was like a walking zombie just dragging my feet here and there. i'll take a photo soon.

so despite being so drop dead tired i went to meet jiawen cos well, i haven't seen her in about 2 weeks. i think. jinx fact number 2. went to aljunied to eat the western food that i was craving for so badly. and the uncle wasn't there. ya like, i couldn't even eat after a whole day out. first meal. so i settled for mixed rice. another joke.

this is what i ate.

this is what jiawen ate. HAHAHA LIKE TOTALLY WTF.

chilled for a bit then i went home to sleep. i only slept till 1am though. totally couldn't sleep till now. what the fuck is wrong with me. i literally didn't sleep for 25 hours and now im not even tired after sleeping for 5 hours. hi, i am a robot.

bought guitar strings earlier on today. one of the strings from my dads guitar snapped so i thought of replacing them.

well, my first string snapped after i completed everything and sort of just smacked my on my hand. which obviously hurt a lot. so yes. very upset because all my efforts have gone to waste.

SO, i think i am gonna try for that little bit of sleep again. bye then !

Weekends.

So i spent my entire weekend with joshy although I have a paper tmr. this is how much I love you josh. Hahahaha. I think I'm kinda morbid cos I only felt happier last night after josh and I took a spin near the cemetery. I wanted to go take a spin inside but I was afraid josh would think I am a freak. swear I am not. I love taking long rides in ulu places like choa chu kang and what not haha.

Anyway went for dinner at gastronomia today. the service was quite bad though. everything was mildy cold. everyone have holiday tmr but we have exams :( roarrr.

kk gonna study a macs soon. Hope the crowd clears out from there cos of the stupid soccer match. hehe bye!