gee, how come it always gets exceptionally... emotional at this time of the night? nah, that's not the word. it's more of a pensive mood where after that it boils down to you feeling that your life really isn't that great and stuff. yea, i get that all the time.

sigh, anyway accounting's a bitch. don't know why suddenly there are so many other things that i don't know hurhur. and what's worse, i just found a site that streams so many shows i wanna watch. i hate studying. im going to do damn badly this semester man. but wtv. there's not much more to live for anymore.

NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED!
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hahahaha!! okay maybe its not gross at all hahaha! im so happy its finally off! i plucked it out btw HAHAHAHAHAHA.

cherryl: OH BTW I PULLED OUT MY TOENAIL ALRDY!!
yixiang: oh congrats! so isit painful? see nothing much right?
cherryl: haha what do i do w the empty nail patch? no need to protect it ah??
yixiang: no need lah, no worm is going to eat into your toe when you're toe nail-less.

HAHAHAHA dont know why i find that sentence damn funny hahaha. do you know your big toenail is really v hard hahahaha.

anyway past few days have been like whoa! but i can't type here HAHAHAHAHA. damn. :D meeting pea tmr before exam :D:D can't wait!

OH BY THE WAY, CLICK HERE AND VOTE FOR TIFFANIE CHIA OKAY!!!
thnks :DD

hello. past few days have been unbelievable.

i think sometimes when you're dealing with things in life you gotta be flexible. if something isn't working out then you gotta change your method luh right? same for people what. if you keep using the same method and both parties keep getting upset then its only common sense to change what. i don't understand why i have to be the one that's slowest among my friends to experience things. by the time im allowed to do something everyone has done it 500times before. why can't i be like every other teenager.

how come parents cant seem to remember when they were young? and its totally bullshit when they tell you they didn't have such fun. i hope my kids dont think im bullshitting when i tell them i didnt have fun when i was young cos APPARENTLY IM NOT KIDDING. why can't parents just learn to let go off their children when its time. its not even like we talk damn alot when we're at home. sometimes you dont even know im home so what difference does it make if im not. just feel super deprived sometimes. but the better half me already accepted it i guess.

i'll always be the kid thats not allowed to do anything while everyone is out there having the time of their teenage lives.

i happened to hear a media corp advertisement on the radio just now. it goes something like
"one brick can't build a home but many bricks can. donate generously to the We Are One fund blahblah" and it just stirred some thoughts inside me.
i mean it makes sense that a brick can't build a home but are they implying that one person can't make a difference? if everyone thinks that one person won't make a difference to the donation then whose gonna donate ah. or it could mean that many people are going to be donating so being a typical Singaporean you will just think that your donation isn't going to make any difference since everyone is going to be donating.. okay fine i bet no one even thinks of stuff like that hahaha!

anyway there was some news after that that said an autopsy was carried out on a guy who appeared to commit suicide but had wounds on him like he was tortured before that. and i was thinking if i were being tortured to no end obviously if i couldn't take it anymore i would just jump out the window and end my life right........................hah.

accounting!!! <3

i am god-like!!!!!!!
no, really. okay fine, robot-like then!
because because because!!
i figured out cashflow statements already! :D then i went on to do biscom in which i gave up after one chapter because it is bloody boring i must say. so i proceeded to do bis stats and i completed the extra revision thing which is 24 bloody pages!! whoohoo! i am ever ready to do stats now (: ironically, stats is my last paper which falls on the 2nd of Dec. damn..............

okayokay! i dont know if i should go sleep or continue doing ratio analysis for accounting hahaahha!!! im afraid when i wake up tomorrow i won't feel the drive to study anymore!!!! naw, i think i shall take a break and watch serials hehe. go me!!

it amazes me how from a girl that used to be against vulgarities because of God, i became a girl with a fuck and cb and nb in every other sentence. how awesomely unappealing is that.

i'm swearing off vulgarities.

you know whats cool?
that i managed to sleep in till 1.45 today :D :D been so long!!!!! definitely looking forward to next sem when classes will be in the afternoon!

you know what amazes me? right now its my memory. BECAUSE I JUST WENT TO ANOTHER WEBPAGE AND BACK HERE AND I TOTALLY FORGOT WHAT AMAZES ME. musn't be so amazing afterall.

have you ever cried after a major exam paper? wait im thinking.................................. and i can't remember a time i have haha. im usually the one consoling even though i did really badly too?? hahaha. i only cried once for a really minor test HAHA. w-eird.

sigh anyway. do you believe that every single person you meet in your life is there for a reason? i don't believe. i mean, there are some people i meet that totally just come and go. and they didn't do a thing to me at all. im not talking bout passerbys ah, im talking bout some ppl you add online and talk for one conversation then never ever talk again in your life and till now you can't remember their names and stuff..

i konw im not the only one praying for a miracle but i hope mine comes true first HAHAHA.

hm, many pictures.

last day of school today. was caught in the bloody fabulous rain which caused a big jam and a big flood. anyway went town, ate at ION then went lido top floor to study w sam, fandy, yixiang.. omgawd, ended up watching Christmas Carol instead. its not really damn good or what.. average. and it was bloody cold inside...... if only......... haha.

anyway went parkway to have dinner with my family cos its my sisters birthday.

















and this is from last saturday. my niece's 2nd birthday.

























im damn lazy to type haha. so it'll just be this for now.


ugh everytime i convince myself that im not affected anymore it always turns out i still am hahahahaha i am a joke...............

My first time blogging from an itouch!!!! But sadly no it's not mine hurhur. It's yixiangs. Anyway my biscom teacher is flashing so quickly I can't take it anymore. Flashing answers haha. She never even give us time to copy and she won't let us photocopy the answers. -_- cb lor don't know her answers got gold or what......

Hmm I have been living off peoples happiness for the past few days. Joyce's exams are ending, Cheryl is happy (; and wal is returning to sg next week!! (: and I feel alright I guess. For the past few days it has been a rollarcoaster of emotions for me and I'm glad I finally cleared the air so we all can move on with our lives.

Oh ya there's like this blue dot on my back. I think it's like some dirt or something stuck inside my skin. Disgusting lor happen to me twice already leh. First time was on my cheek and it took about 2 years before it grew so big and ugly that I squeezed it out cos i buay tahan. Then another one was on my back again but I squeezed it out too I DONT KNOW HOW IT EVEN GET INTO
MY BODY LAR.

Ok end of class hehe bye!!

this is a classic line you hear from girls everywhere.

girl 1: omg? my thighs are DAMN fat
girl 2: what?! its muscles la!

OR

girl 2: walau yours fat then mine is what!?

omg im so sick of hearing that all over the world hahaha. its like trying to be nice yet being so fake at the same time. and like seriously, all the girls who say their thighs are fat USUALLY HAVE STICK THIN THIGHS. ARE YOU DELUDED. i mean if you just LOOK at my thighs right -_-....................................


anyway today was damn fun hahahah. after school sam, yixiang, fandy, adrien and i went pasir ris farmway to look at fishes. ate at whitesands first. but it started raining and when we got off the bus at the farmway it was like FLOODED so sam and i stood on the chairs hahahaha. damn disgusting out feet were totally wet and submerged. took a cab to farmway.

after looking at random ugly fishes fandy and adrien disappeared so sam, yixiang and i went prawning!!! hahahaha wtf lor sam like the prawn goddess. all the prawns she catch one leh! then when yixiang and i hold got nothing one lor! ok mine have but everytime it bites i think i pull up too fast then it will swim away ): hahahaha. anyway although we only caught 5 prawns WHICH IS ACTUALLY THE MOST I EVER HAVE for any prawning trip, it was super fun haha.

went town after that. wanted to catch a movie but was pretty late already like 8 already so we just went to eat. ate at kopitiam then sat there till like 10 talking bout ghost stories and stuff hahaha. was cool! anyway need to start studying from tomorrow onwards already! exactly one week to exams!

happy birthday to my sister! oh its the last day of school tomorrow! ohoh and i got my CA results! was pretty shitty in my opinion, just not up to my standards. nevermind, exams. okayokay going to bed now!! long day tomorrow! byebye!!

lovequotes.

okay i just found this Love Quote thing on facebook and i really liked a few quotes so im going to share! okay there are so many im just going to pick a few hahaha.

Someone asked me, "Why do you keep loving someone who doesn't love you back? There are tons of fish in the water."
I simply replied, "Just because it's also water, would you drink from the sea?"

"Isn't it ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones that ignore us, love the ones who hurt us and hurt the ones who love us."

Trying to forget someone you love so much is like trying to remember someone you have never met.

No matter how crazy and funny the scenes around you are, they are useless without the person you want to laugh with.

Secretly loving someone is the best thing that could hurt the most.

Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in your heart forever... even if you are gone in theirs.

When you've found a reason to walk away, never look back... Just keep walking. It's better to get lost moving on than to get stuck and stranded broken.

Don't worry about people in the past. There is a reason why they did not make it into your future.

Love means "I can survive without you, but I don't want to.

"LOVE is IN SPITE of , not BECAUSE of."

You know you love someone when all you want for that person is happiness, though you are not part of it.

To love with all your heart... is to even risk losing it.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes, it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

and my favourites are:
True love doesn't have a happy ending.. True love has no ending.

Sometimes you have to put walls around you; not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down just to be with you.

It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't, but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do.

They asked, "how does it feel to love someone who loves someone else?" After a deep breath, I answered, "It's like hugging a cactus, the tighter you embrace, the more it hurts..."


haha okay. i got tired of pressing the refresh button so thats all.

anyway i am the most careless person alive on the face of this earth. i dare say that. friends who know why please shut up haha.

CA results: 18november, after 5pm.
Exams start: 26th november.

feel damn suffocated now. starting to panic already since i don't really know what the fuck accounting is about yet. and my probability sucks to the core of the earth. how i hate feeling stupid especially after i tried. anyway i dont believe i can't get it so im going to figure out cashflow statements now. sigh. 2 more weeks till i can stay home and rot everyday (:

anyway im so tired of reading magazines with overpriced clothes. and its not even supposed to be a high class magazine. like Cleo. so often you see some cute dress ( that looks so plain i could probably cut my curtains and put it together myself ) tagged $132. or a bag that looks like something you can get at city plaza worth $270. hello world. where is your money coming from. please take me to your dimension where money is abundant; where everyone has so much money that even if i gave you a treat everyday it wouldn't mean a thing. thnks.

oh right, the point is shouldn't you ask yourself who is your target audience when you're publishing a magazine. don't they know that the people who read their magazines the most are aged approximately 18-25? i dare say at 23-25 you're probably reading Herworld already. so YES, you expect 18-22 year old kids to buy a $270 bag?! i mean unless you are filthy rich like some people around us, who the fuck can afford it la? can they publish something more afforadable anot. not like they get commision from the ghastly overpriced shit.

went to the drivethru macs at AMK to study today. was very productive if you ask me. since my accounting is like shit it really helped to have pw/geok there. oh, there was yixiang, venelyn, priscilla and edwin too. there was a rat somewhere on the floor and later on there was a green snake behind me. awesome shit. that place is like a jungle. left at 8plus. damn tired already. wanted to do somemore accnting when i got back but all i managed to do was nua. another day tomorrow. gogogogogo.

its 25degrees now btw. and for the whole day, it was really really cold with the strong wind and all. maybe if the world is so screwed up it might start snowing in Singapore :D:D

oh yes. my official favourite word is Disenchanted (surprisingly no, not fuck). it means Free from illusions or false beliefs and i hang on dearly to the meaning of that word ever since shit keeps happening to me. like seriously, it doesnt help if i try to make things go my way and it doesnt help if i sit back and wait for things to go my way either. what the hell am i supposed to do. i know i promised i'd stop waiting but it gets frustrating and i really need to rant sometimes but i really think my friends are already overloaded with the F word (not fuck) so i try to keep it to myself but it results in me emoing in the corner and that doesnt help with anything. then i spend all day thinking and thinking about the little things you do wondering if they meant a thing but more often than not they mean nothing. nothing at all. and when all the fuss boils down, all thats left is me and my imagination.

and im happy for everyone who has someone to run to when they're down.

I CAN'T REALLY GET WHAT I AM STUDYING THIS SEM. ITS LIKE A LEVELS ALL OVER AGAIN. DAMN ANNOYED NOW. GIVE UP LA GIVE UP.

disgusting encounter:

my sister cleverly told me when i was half asleep that there was a cockroach crawling around my toothbrush so she sprayed insecticide on the cockroach and on my toothbrush as well and that i should change my toothbrush. people, NEVER TALK TO ME WHEN IM HALF ASLEEP BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER SHIT. so anyway yesyes i used the same cockroach/insecticide infested toothbrush to brush my teeth for a day. fuck my life much.

busy day tomorrow. two parties to attend. shawn's 21st, and my niece, natasha's 2yrold bday party. and i forgot to buy oil blotter ): wonder how im going to survive tomorrow. hahaha. ah well im going to wrap my niece's present and go to bed cos i am so tired, again. haha bye!

if there was one job that i would never take it would be an ambulance driver. you probably have to go through some civil defense thing to get to that position luh but either way i would never do it. imagine the scene if you didn't make it to the hospital in time.. wonder what it feels like to have another person's life in your hands. i always imagined myself in one of those situations where its either my life, or the life of somebody i love. i really wonder if i would be so brave as to die for them.

hi. am very sad now but i have no idea why. nah, im not angsty, just very sad.

ok cut. i just saw something on facebook that made me want to hurl. you cb piece of ungrateful fucked up hypocrite. if your words were money we'd all be broke because they are worth NOTHING. you are comparable to.. wow, even with 15minutes and a vivid imagination i could not tihnk of anything that you were comparable to. cos you're not even close to being a piece of shit in my eyes. honestly i have no idea why i always cross paths with people like you. you make me feel like my life is full of misfortunes. get. the. fuck. away. from. me.

im so angry now i cant sleep. sigh. my attendance is causing me some stress and all. and really not being able to do accnting and stats makes me even more demoralised and shit. wtever fuck luh i don't care.

bye.

okay i had this sudden urge to change my blogskin after seeing tiff change hers but as usual, my urge to do things always end up in me finding the urge to do something else.......

sigh anyway. i know exams are no where near. its start on like, the 26th but i already feel so unprepared and nervous. and i dont know whats becoming of me but i think im slacking off like, way too much. the cherryl lum from the past would NEVER have a less than 99% for attendance in school. now its 76% and if im late one more time i can kiss my exams byebye. warning letter came in today for not being in class when there was a random spotcheck. am i just super unlucky or what man. sometimes i miss my dad nagging at me to get up every morning and my mom getting mad at me for skipping school. as i grow older i truly realise its all for my own good. i wish i was still the little girl who daren't do something like skipping classes or being late in fear of my parents finding out and i dont really give a shit if my friends think im a wuss.

): am super unhappy with my life now. somewhere along the way i strayed.


i think its all the trivial stuff that has been clouding my judgement too. too worried about what you might see me as perhaps. i've been self conscious all my life and its just not going to stop now. i wish i wish i wish i could be like those kids who dont give a shit what the world thinks of them. ugh. i can't even keep to myself without worrying that my friends would think im some emoshit or something. think im just going to go out alone after school tomorrow, have some me time. sigh, love.

and my dearest dearest babyjoyce, you know that i'm right beside you when you're having your As but if you hear me whisper some answer please dont take it for real.

sometimes i really want to talk to you and tell you how much i miss you but that feeling's never going to come back again. from now on, all i feel for you is sympathy. and when the time comes i'd slap you across your cheek and let you know what a slut wannabe you've become. i don't know you anymore.

daddy went out and got me an AC adapter to replace my misplaced one so now i can use my laptop again! (: i love my laptop! and i love my dad haha!

word.

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Though you try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part

Won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it's who we are

I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
Just a boy who had to sing his song
Just a man, I'm not a hero
I don't care, we'll carry on.

What's the worst thing I could say?
Things are better if I stay

today started out quite weirdly. i was so angry over some things that happened that i cried. and surprisingly i didn't feel like talking to anyone but you. so thank you.
but anyway after that i cabbed down to school to pass up the SPSS data CD and hung around with yx till sam left her house. then yx and i boarded her bus. walked so much today i feel like i exercised damn alot man. first stop plaza sing, yx went to draw money i went to pierce my ear again. walked from plaza sing to parkmall there to eat tao huay. then walked to peninsula to find my AC adapter thing. shopped around for abit before going to the shop. couldn't find the exact one so walked to funan to check the model. then didn't go back to penin cos they didn't have that model.................. so we walked to raffles to collect sam's shoes then walked through citylink to suntec (i hate citylink ttm). like marathon right?

ate astons. wanted to watch movie but no timings for Caroline at eng wah so went arcade to catch toys instead. got one!! :D the thrill of it haha. played bball then sat down for a drink and went off at like 10.15. decided to take 171 with sam up to coronation then take an empty bus back home but didn't know the bus took so damn long to come that by the time yx and i reached coronation our last bus already left HAHA. so we cabbed home together. somewhere along the way the cab driver jammed break damn hard and i flew into the chair infront of me. fml. haha. anyway i felt alot alot alot better after hanging with sam and yx so thanks guys :D

am still praying for a miracle.


sigh i dont know what to do about you. everytime someone mentions you i just get into this damn sad mood. i know that even to you, its what used to be.

you know, gossip girl keeps emphasizing on love love love, being with the ones you love, patching up with friends, and more love. it makes me feel sad watching it cos i can never have what they have. a friendship so real, a love so strong. oh well.

fuck. my. life.

cheebye laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i lost my fucking laptop charger and the fucker who took it hasn't returned it, or will never return it, it seems. fuck you and your fucking dishonest character and fuck your own electronic devices lahhhhhhhhhh. one charger like fucking fucking expensive lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. fucking bad mood nowwwwwwwwwwwwww. i am damn fucking pissed at myself for being so knnbccbfucking careless.

anyway i was just thinking if every time you are fucking upset and you talk to a friend and every friend tell you they are fucking bad at consoling people then whats the fucking use of friends?

GO, ME.

i have been super caught up with projects and shit!! but its all over!! (exams are next ): )okay i am going to update from yesterday then i'll go back in time!

TUESDAY
happy birthday mummy.
woke up late so went to school late, duh. attended like 1 hour lecture then the group (minus rom) went to some study room to do project. did until 5plus but still had a long way to go. so we all went home to bath and change, then met at King Albert Park macs at 9plus. KAP mac's power supply was spoilt so we walked to some shopping center in bukit timah to check their macs. but turned out they had no more plugs too (fuck all fastfood restaurants!). SO, in the end all of us cabbed to Yishun's 24hour starbucks then we finally started doing the project at like 11.30pm haha.

anyway clock struck 12 and geok and peiwen went outside of starbucks to light the candles on the cake we bought for sam's birthday earlier on at KAP's bengawan solo. haha i was like "SAM, OMG? I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.. SHIT" then i dragged her out haha. then after that we went back and seriously started to do project alrdy. my group (geok, peiwen, adrien, me) took turns to do and completed at 6 plus in the morning. the other group (sam, fandy, yixiang) were like abit slower haha. and the way fandy sleeps is like super adorable hahahahaa no seriously like a kid man. we all took pictures of him HAHAHAH. anyway rom came at like 4plus i think. or 5plus? not sure. and we made friends with one girl whose taking A levels haha she damn funny man.

ah, we left yishun at 8.15 to take bus. reached school today at 9.30. handed in project then most of us went home to sleep, myself included, cos we didnt sleep at all last night. haha. anyway i took the fucking bus all the way back to hougang cos it was raining so heavily and i really didn't know what to do cos either way i have to walk home. so i only reached home not long ago ): considering the fact that i left school at 11.30 i feel so shitty.


MONDAY
happy birthday me. spent my birthday in school doing project. sweet. came home ate dinner cut cake and thats how i spent my actual birthday.

SUNDAY
PICNIC DAY!!! hahaha called my damn good friends together for a picnic for my birthday cos i rly wanted to. my first picnic with friends (:

brien came and left damn soon!





























joyce damn sick HAHAHHAHHAAH



























yup! went for picnic at fort canning, then went cathay ben and jerrys. haha im damn happy all my good friends can click.


anyway! i haven't slept for like the whole night and im not actually sleepy now but im just going to sleep since i feel so relieved that there are no more projects for this semester !!!!! (: bye world!