i know my problems are trivial when compared to others but.. maybe it sucks more cos its so trivial YET i can't do anything about it. love how life throws shit in your face.

after all that's been said and done.

for life.

sorry. i hope you're doing better than i am despite all the shit thats happening to you.

you know how you start singing a sad song then the more you sing the more you realise your life is like that and your voice starts to shake a little then you sing some more and you end up crying?
.................

i was searching the net for more info on my operations chapter and i found a site that is IDENTICAL to my notes. omg SIM such rip offs. copy from net then say that plagiarism is an offense. offense my ass!!!

update/ oh wait. thats just the online version of my textbook. HAHAHAHAHAAHAAH

the only thing that comes to my mind everytime i pick up operations and totaly qlty management proj qst paper to do is "cheebye la".

notice how there are a TRUCKLOAD of FEMALE singers whose songs are about bastards and getting over them while IRONICALLY male singers tend to sing about everlasting love.

:< I'm like SO fucking sick of finance.

HELLO. I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO BLOG.

okay 1 down. stupid econs project. i hate those projects where you have to find an article and analyze it. walau eh, want to test us on application just give us a case study or something can anot!!!!? anyway. 5 more to go. 2 due next week. 3 the week after. and the dates are back to back. WALAU HIONG ANOT!?

haha i think i talk like an ah lian when im agitated.

anyway i didnt go to school again HAHAHA I SKIPPED ALL THE SATURDAYS SO FAR HAHAHAHA. wtf really no mood to wake up at bloody 8am on a saturday man. and im having lethal cramps. wtf how come as i get older i keep getting cramps. :<

anyway irony but you know what part of school i like the best? its the staying back to do projects :> cos everyone has such a good time together haha. yesterday we stayed to do finance then we got bored so we turned off the study room lights and played hide and seek. HAHAAHAHAHAH I KNOW.... anyway it was raining SO heavily yesterday was kinda scary. though i love it :> a tree fell in the middle of the road at tiong bahru!!! my first time seeing a tree in the middle of the road.

anyway.. people get extra angry when things are said about them and its not true. for me its the opposite. when things are said about me and they are not true i'll laugh about it. if they are true i will get really angry though i wont admit to it cos i dont like how vulnerable i feel. like how others can see right through me. and people just dont like people to tell them their flaws i guess.

so cheryl popped the question again for the 80483242 time since i knew her. HAHA.



and it just got me thinking of what i feel about that.

i honestly believe there isn't a reason for falling in love with someone. its not something like they treat you very nice then one fine day you finally give in or because they fit all the requirements of your 'list'. it just happens.

one day you feel okay around them and the next thing you know, your heart is pounding, your palms won't stop sweating and you have the urge to see them every day cos just seeing them would make your day. i believe this is the kind of love that will last but is also the most painful because if it didnt need a reason to start, there's no solid reason for it to stop. well, most painful cos if it is really unrequited love and you don't have a reason to stop loving them then... tough luck.

but it will last because they can't do anything to spoil it. i know that after loving someone for a long time you will start to notice their flaws but another thing i strongly believe in is that love surpasses all that. people always ask me why all the guys i like look so cui one (LOL) i also don't know. somehow i just over look that and see whats inside. at least i try to dig and see if theres anything good hahaha.

aiya random thought i wonder how many people in the world are having their honeymoon at this instance.

hello. i just had a close to 5 hours nap and it felt.. no where near good. cos i had to force myself to wake up and complete my stupid econs project. its not that i don't know what to write, i already have everything i want in mind. its just that before my nap,i spent what seemed like eternity drawing one graph on microsoft word. its SO ANNOYING to try to align everything and all. UGH.

not in a good mood at all. feel damn pissed off at everything. feel like i dont match up. feel like im trying damn hard for nothing.

ok this is in regards to no one at all. but how can some people be so relaxed about group projects? they owe it to the group to do a good job. how can they be so alright with getting shit grades. i often wonder how people can wait till the last minute to start and just do some sub standard work. its like people always say "oh, if they dont wanna do it then you dont do it either". but for me that will never work man. in a sense im being stupid yet smart. im stupid to even bother about putting in effort since its a die together thing but im not that stupid to not do anything and fail right. some people are just...

headache :(


hey furry baby i would love you more than anything in the world :)

sometimes...it's nice talking to strangers.

my job sucks. i can't quit. and i haven't started on a single project. i don't understand a single bit of finance and that is TRAGIC cos its not some theory memorisation crap you can cram right before the exam.
my life sucks. period.

HEHEHE THE STRAWBERRY SO CUTE.

it was shaped like a bunny :D:D:D
makes me smile. i dont know why. hahahahaa

"As the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground,
There's a season change &all the pinks and whites have turned to brown.
Will we make it through the Fall? We're gonna make it through this Fall,
Cos i don't wanna fall with you."
Roses&Butterflies - Making April

damn, this song is perfection. love the play on words.
Fall as in autumn.

its inevitable that in life, we will all have the need to use the F word at least once.
even angels do it.

HAHAHAHA OK READ THIS

"ok+ok=ok, good+ok=ok? and how about poor+ok?"
"If it is poor+ok, you may choose either "poor" or "ok", depending on the degree of the "poorness". If the poor is "very poor", then the overall would probably be towards "poor". Either "poor" or "ok" is fine if you state your reasons."

IS IT YOU READ ALREADY ALSO BLUR HAHAHAHA WTF WHERE GOT LECTURE NOTES LIKE THAT ONE. fucking biz finance hahahahahaha

anyway you are becoming one of those people who are like 'my boyfriend this my boyfriend that my boyfriend my boyfriend my boyfriend." sheesh.

i had a dream. :) a dream, not a nightmare. how often does that happen eh?
there was a guy. he had the nicest strongest shoulders :) we took polaroids. he took one of me when i was totally unaware and said he'd never seen anything more beautiful. i wanted to kiss his cheek for being so sweet but he cheekily turned and we kissed on the lips instead. we snuggled. it was perfect. everything i ever wanted.
its going to happen to me someday. i know it. :)

you know, i found an up side to being made used off/ only being sought out when people need something. it is the only time when people are EXTREMELY nice to you! i know that they are being extremely pretentious as well but heyhey its the only time you get to see a conniving bitch act like you are Jesus. so lets all go get made used off!

p.s. Tone: Sarcastic.


you see. the bad thing about unrequited love is that the one being loved gets the upper hand and can take their time to be a manipulative mindfucking bastard while the other party does his bidding cos they are soOoOooOoooOoooo in love and a wrong move might ruin their already non-existent chance of the bastard changing his mind.

and YETTTTT WE ALLL CONTINUE TO BE SLAVESSSSSS. CONGRATULATIONS ON EVOLVING, HUMANS.

last night i was listening to class 95's love songs and the topic was on 'Toxic Friends'. do you know that for whatever reason, every 7 years we change about half of our friends. and one of the reasons was toxic friends. here's 5 signs that your friend is 'toxic':

1) Your friend cant be genuinely happy for you (e.g jealousy and competitiveness)
2) Your friend is a constant source of stress (i.e always complaining and whining and negative.)
3) Your friend is overly critical and its not constructive criticism.
4) When your friend is always there on his/her terms. i.e She chooses the time date place and topic of conversation. or only looks for you when she wants to whine.
5) If your friend is plain crazy i.e copying you in whatever you do.

hmmmm. i think i am a toxic sister.

alone again on an afternoon with an overcast sky. what could come out of it besides thinking and over thinking? the more i try the more i literally feel my heart slowly being ripped apart and the worst part? there's no way to piece it back together.
no one to talk to, no where to run.
i need a distraction.

sadness trumps happiness because the impact of the bad stuff always leaves a deeper mark than the happy stuff.

take hugs and loneliness for example. yes we get hugged many times by our peers and family as we grow up (not so much for me though haha) and there are the times where we feel like no one is ever there for us. but seriously, how many of those hugs do you remember? how many of those hugs really left an impact on you? i'm guessing maximum 2 (for me its nil). whereas on the other hand you will always remember being left alone. because it haunts you. something like a phobia you know? once you experience it you would never want to go through it again.


vs

could also be that the proportion of happy incidents to sad incidents is like 20:1 thats why we can remember clearly each time we are sad but only vaguely when we are happy.. wonder how it works for perpetually happy people. one day they are just going to burst.

HELLO JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!! did i mention JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE WHOOHOO. BUT THE TICKETS ALL SOLD OUT ALREADY OH MY GOD. ITS ON THE 24 OF JULY! I HOPE HE DOES SOME SIGNING AND PICTURE TAKING SOMEWHERE OH MY GOD!!!!!

anyway i got a job! finally finally finally finally.

just now i walked into Borders and bought Financial Times for my projects and it costs $5.20. so i went out and complained to my parents and it turns out Financial times is not printed in singapore haahahahahahahhahahahaah what i was looking for was Business times. AM I STUPID OR STUPID OMG. anyway they refunded me my money haha. oops.

okay why the hell is time passing so quickly? its like i barely blinked and its friday already?!?!!??! ALREADY?!?!?!?!?! haahahahahah okay i gotta go do my projs otherwise they will pile up like.. like i dont know what.

oh and why do people like to do things in public that are WEIRD. like on the bus today there were people digging their teeth (with ALL sorts of things; bus tickets, finger, etc), applying make up (i mean from scratch, funny), biting fingernails, etc..... its like they really dont care that there are people around them. really weird people.

okay gonna read some business finance cos i dont know what the hell is going on up till now.

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/video/video.php?v=384606929231&ref=nf

not perfect but i like!

I'm fine, thank you.

What i really wanted to tell you on your birthday was:

I may not understand why this journey has been harder than ever but i know it has been worth while. I don't know what is it that makes me think of your smile, the way you walk, how your eyes crease when you laugh - but i will never forget. We may not have many common topics but i could sit quietly and watch you all day. There's no point telling others how much i want to give you a hug every time i see you, how much i want to ruffle your hair, how much i want to listen to you ramble on&on, how butterflies flutter in my stomach everytime i hear your name because they have no idea how intense this feeling is.

I know i will be green with envy and be choked up with tears when you finally find someone whose hand you will hold, whose tears you will wipe, whose head you will support with your shoulder. But i wish you nothing but love&joy. You, my dear, were made in heaven.

You were the reason for all of my smiles and tears for the past few months but tomorrow i'll wake and smile because it'll be a brand new day for you, for me.
I love you.

gosh i just feel so bummed out right now. i think i should live on events that only happen in my mind so that i can manipulate reality and everything will pan out the way i want it to. its like im never satisfied with what comes at me in reality, its SO hard. like you know you talk to someone then there come the worry that they wont reply so your mood dampens. then when they do reply its not really the reply you had in mind then your mood plunges to its death.

omgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmg. :(

if i could have a superpower it would be to manipulate people HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

hahaha thnks for all the concern guys. i feel a tad happier from all the care already.

today is a special day. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA ;)

anyway i cut school today 80% cos i wasn't feeling really good and 20% cos i was lazy to get up and travel hehe. oh for crying out loud, its a saturday :(

you know they say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. i wonder what will flash before my eyes.

okay i just deleted a whole chunk of vulgarities targeting some irresponsible person who took his friend's efforts to celebrate his birthday for granted.


moving on. good time with sam fandy and adrien. :)


aiyarrrrr my running nose and cough and itchy throat is not even going away lar fuck. fucking annoying.

i am the most possessive person on earth. somehow i like to think that my friends are just mine. thus i will keep bugging you to meet me and catch up because i like to think that you have stuff to tell me too. if i stop bugging you it really means i dont care about you anymore because you clearly don't give a damn either.

原来心酸比心痛难受

today is reportedly the worst day of the week.

firstly a stupid I(think of a race and its seriously not my prob they always leave a shit impression on me) bus driver refused to open the door even though i was RIGHT in front of the door waving and he was STATIONARY at the bloody bus stop. furthermore i ran to the bus in high hopes of catching it. you will see how this links to what happens next.

so i caught the later bus. on the way i saw that the sky was overcast so i prayed for God to hold back the rain for a little while because i had to walk a fucking long way to school from the bus stop. but noOoOOoo it started to drizzle just as i was reaching the bus stop. i thought to myself nevermind, still can be thankful at least its not heavy rain. walked ten steps and it started to pour. i mean POUR. who the hell was peeing from up above. i expected the china girl in front of me to offer to share an umbrella (cos she turned to look at me) but noOoOooOoo like i was too big for her puny made-in-china umbrella. so i half ran half pranced which wasnt of any help besides making everyone who passed me on a cab laugh. i couldn't run because i was wearing flipflops and it was drenched with water so seriously you just can't run in that. so i walked.

which you see, is the reason why i said that if i had caught the earlier bus i could have missed the rain. so fuck you bus driver i hope your license gets revoked and your livelihood depends on that.

on the bus home an I woman sat next to me with her I child. and seriously i dont mind sitting with small children who climb around their mother's head and does a bungee jump onto their mother's shoulders from the chair behind and SCREAAAAAAAAMS in the highest most annoying voice ever but TOUCH ME AND YOU'RE DEAD. IT touched me with its feet; IT who ran around the bus BAREFOOT (and seriously the bus is damn filthy i was stepping on gum and i didnt even know till i had to leave the bus and i couldn't lift my foot up). i nearly had a seizure from the trauma. i swear in my head i was just yelling "UGHHHHHH UGHHHHHHHH!!!! i should decapitate my arm................"

the only thing i'm damn thankful for today is that the bus conductor didn't come and check tickets today because i totally didn't give the right fare and if i had to get off the bus and walk home i would kill myself.

on a side note, i have the cold and cough and its NOT FUNNY. MOTHERFUCKERS COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU SNEEZE AND COUGH CAN ANOT.

and whats with the motherfucking internet. can't load a fucking thing.

so there.

I could sit and watch you all day.

okay 1) the gap between Chuck's teeth is distracting and
2) Jenny Humphrey is a SLUT.

Closure.

today sucked more than yesterday but thankfully,

pretty people make my day.


还不想回家的我，
在多人陪只会更寂寞.

WHY AM I SO FUCKING TIRED.

oh that's right. cos the terror has begun. did i mention business finance is SHIT boring. its like x2031015942 more boring than accounting. sheesh, feel so bummed out after attending that stupid lesson. thank god tomorrow is microecons. can chill abit. sigh.

SIGH. I FEEL LIKE SHIT ):

我很想记得, 可是我记不得
为什么这样子? 你看着我说你已经决定
我拉不住你, 她的手应该比我更暖
印象中的爱情好像顶不住那时间
所以你弃权.

WHY!!?!??!?!??!? WHY DOESNT ANYTHING GO MY WAY!?!?!?!?!?

i was afk then suddenly when i came back i saw this .

HAHAHAAHAHAH USUALLY ITS JUST A SMALL PET HAHAAHAHAHAHA

people used to tell me that the friends who will last are those you make in uni/jc. i used to brush them off and say that my sec sch and pri sch friends are just as lasting.

now i'm not sure what i really believe in.

"Went to the store, sat on santa's lap
asked him to bring my friends
all kinds of crap"

HAHAAHAHAHAA AHAHAHAAHAHAHAH AHHHHH PHOEBE SO FUNNY.

): rings are so expensive.
omg i can stare at this ring for the whole day.

it says "Mine the darkness: See by the path you leave behind" - Andy Young. cool huh.
Jeanine Payer rings are the sex i tell you.

went to watch Clash of the Titans!! but i must say it was pretty disappointing. yea, it was action packed and all but it didnt WOW me, ya know? i was more WOWed by the trailer HAHAAHHAHAH. but overall, still a movie to see. maybe it'll wow you haahahahah. an example of a movie that wowed me is like.. the matrix. 60% cos my keanu reeves hottie was in it hahahha. nah im kidding.

so anyway, my shirt tore. i look like someone tried to grab my by my sleeve then it tore hahahah damn joke. went to fandy's friend's shop to mend it. thanks ah! yup after that was supposed to play pool but the place we wanted to go was no longer there hahaahah bloody hell i think the last time adrien went there was ten yrs ago or something. went cq for a drink instead. and events that happened after that shall be kept secret for my sake HAHAHHAAHHAHA.


the best times in my life are those that can't be replaced by any other person. you know, like even if you did the same thing with someone else, it wouldn't hold a single meaning. :)