im so PISSED that my report is so shallow. i can't seem to clear my mind and do some critical thinking. ffffff this shit.

Have you guys heard of Nissin cup noodles? of course you have. it is the nicest and saltiest cup noodle i have ever eaten. AND I CAN'T TASTE SHIT NOW COS OF MY COLD. im so upset hahaha im super hungry but i feel like im just swallowing food to make myself full. can't taste at all. can't taste my calamansi either. :(

anyway anyway hahahaha i just rewatched 命中注定我爱你 and now im rewatching wang zi bian qing wa HAHAHA. i remember i rewatched the latter about close to ten times HAHAHAHAHAHA. MING DAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. okay he's not that cute anymore. if you put him next to ethan ruan he just looks fat. sigh. OMG NOSTALGIA.

my leadership proj is due next monday :( i have to finish it before hand cos of the stupid turn it in thingy now. UGH. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh v stressed hahaha. love projs though. love reports and essays hahaha. i just love staying up late at night and letting all the ideas flow to me. feel super accomplished. :)

OKAY, LOVE.

Im honored to be in the era that was around to see great things and not so great happen. Things that changed the world. Just off the top of my head:

1. Domination of Apple products all over the world, Death of Steve Jobs
2. Barack Obama, enough said (cos if you don't know whats going on here i can't help you hahaha)
3. The founding of Google (i really have no idea what search engine i used before google)
4. Facebook, enough said
5. Tsunami in 2004 (RIP Uncle R)
6. Saddam Hussein &Osama
7. Global Financial Crisis
8. September 11 (i still think its damn freaky that the numerical date of september 11 is 9/11 which is 911 emergency number -_- well played, terrorists.)
9. SARS (how can anyone forget the few weeks of skipping secondary school and not knowing what the hell was going on outside)
10. RIP Michael Jackson &Whitney Houston
11. Introduction of 3D technology
12. Cloning of Dolly!
13. K-Pop craze

i personally hate the last one. hahaha okay this are all the events i can remember since i was conscious of what was going on around me. aren't we lucky to be able to be around to know of them? of course these are not the GREATEST events or whatever but they are pretty big to me. and although not all of them are good events at least we have no excuse to say we got through life without ever experiencing anything great.

haha okay random. i was doing my leadership project and reading about steve jobs when i just thought of blogging about this. speaking of which, google is being a bitch today. its giving me everything under the sun except information that i need :( boo.

oh on a totally different matter, IM SO SICK OF MY IPHONE. im so sick of touch screen phones really. losing its sensitivity and shit. i want an old school keypad where i can close my eyes and still type a text. i want a flip phone. damn im so sick of flat one dimensional phones. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i think its important that my guy friends are able to not take what i say to heart. cos i can be super direct at times to them which is super refreshing cos you cant do that to girls. bitch mode will come on. so i thank god that all my guy friends will just laugh it off or say something to counter me for fun. phew.

tonight is just one of those nights where i have a lot of time on my hands thus i end up thinking of a lot of shitty stuff. the topic for tonight is that i am a pushover. im not even going to say im nice, im just plainly a pushover.

im sure we've all had those moments in life where we wanted to please someone just so that they would appreciate you and bond with you and be your best friend for life. i used to be this dumb. up till JC, i always had this urge to please people around me. i thought that if they were happy, i would be too. but there will never be a single situation where both parties are happy. i know what you're thinking, if its a compromise then both will be happy right? nope. the fact that you compromised means you didn't get 100% of what you want. and sometimes you only end up with 20% after a compromise because compromising means you will not end up with nothing but you will get at least something, which is that miserable 20%.

i guess i just need to thank life (and maybe any remaining brains i have) for showing me that its just not possible. something always cocks up; like people not saying thank you, or not even recognizing that i don't need to be doing whatever it is that made them happy but i did anyway. i probably just sound like im praising myself but im really not. because im a dumb bitch. people only miss the water when its gone. they are not going to remember you for something nice that you did. they are only going to remember that you exist when they want something done and don't have the right person for the job. that's the harsh truth.

i have probably made my fair share of mistakes in this department. i forgot people who were nice to me. made them give up and distance themselves. but at least i live with the regrets of what could have been. some people just live on without ever thinking about the mistakes they have made. usually not thinking about your mistakes and moving forward is the way to go but not for human relationships. keep making the same mistake and you lose everyone who ever cared for you. and you are stuck with everyone you care about who don't remember the nice things you've done for them either.

the saddest part is when you do something nice for someone but you are still invisible in their eyes. i guess everybody has their favourites.

I am mighty proud of myself and my efforts. I made a promise to God which I am proud to say I have been keeping. okay just so this post makes sense I am briefly gonna tell you what i promised hahaha. (man, i am reallyyyyy not used to typing with a capital I)

well the big man up there was nice enough to answer my very very important prayer so because i was so grateful i promised that i would stop using vulgarities. like on a regular basis. because if you know me...... i can use them in every sentence possible. not proud of it but yeah. well they say venting your anger and using vulgarities once in awhile is good for your health. SERIOUSLY. RESEARCH SAYS SO. i read a few articles on it already hahaha. and i am ashamed to say i let slip out of my mouth about 2 vulgarities since i made that promise WHICH SERIOUSLY IS SUPER LITTLE COMPARED TO LAST TIME and im sure God knows im trying. i am literally conscious about what i say now.

im not really sure which way it goes. when i was younger i used to fast from something when i really needed God's help and it worked. but this way works too. man i don't know. anyway for someone who is addicted to using vulgarities in every sentence i just wanna say a little effort goes a long way. YOU PROBABLY THINK IM KIDDING RIGHT. like, who the hell would be addicted to using vulgarities. WELL, I AM. like i said, if you interact with me on a daily basis you would know.

its not like people actually noticed that i stopped actually. like when i asked josh the other day if he noticed something different about my speech he said, "you are speaking fluently?" .....GUYS. i mean come on, which day do i not speak fluently PFFT. haha kidding. but yea. oh this reminded me of some video i watched the other day.

it was about this woman who was teaching us ladies not to give guys open ended questions. like for example, i actually asked josh this question initially, "do you notice something different about me?" and after scrutinizing me like an object he said "you cut your fringe?" HAHAHAHA HE'S SO CUTE SOMETIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. normally after that response a lot of us would get irritated like, why is my bf so dumb why does he not understand what im saying. right? so the video actually said not to mislead our boyfriends because guys are generally not very observant and when you ask them an open ended question like that they would actually panic and think of anything pleasing to say. so if you want a compliment, ask him a direct question. if you went for a nose job, ask him if he can see your nose from the side. if you dyed your hair ask him if your hair is still black. simple things like that luh. it will save you both the trouble of guessing and the irritation and quarrels. bleh.

anyway i saw a list of things that dilys made on her blog (about herself) and i immediately thought of how much i don't like people to know about me. i know there are always different types of people, some like to share and some don't. i definitely belong to the group that doesnt. if i did make a list it would probably consist of things that are very generic and everyone already knows like... how i need to wash my hands very often or how i hate people who cough and sneeze w/o covering their mouths. i had this 'friend' who once told me that i probably always write the same things in a list like that because i am generally a very boring person and there's not much interesting about me. and then i set their house on fire. KIDDING. i guess it would be easier to say yes to that assumption than to explain that i like my privacy and if you wanted to know more about me you gotta show me you can be trusted. i guess its something to do with the fact that im a scorpio. YES I BELIEVE IN HOROSCOPES. i love my secrets. and besides, what's there left to find out if you already know everything about me? :)

Josh is in gentings and I am dying of boredom. Who did I talk to last time -_- anyway I just sent a feedback to Singpost cos they are really damn annoying? They don't have the brains to call or what? I checked the delivery notice and my number was there ok. And I was home the whole day -_- super annoyed. Now I have to go down and collect it myself cos what's the point of asking for redelivery if they are just going to leave me another delivery notice. Damn retarded.

sometimes I'm really grateful for the life I am leading now. btw, i initially spelt 'grateful' as 'greatful' HAHAHAHAHHA BRAIN DEGENERATION MUCH. anw i've got my iPod on, got my cigs, ruffles and green tea, good aircon, browsing gmarket and looking for potential part time jobs i might wanna take up. in the quiet of the night with no disturbance. i am truly grateful for my chill life. seeing that im graduating this end of year, how many more chill nights like this can i have? im really gonna miss the studying period of my life because its the most chill period of my life. own time own target. I FREAKING LOVE MY LIFESTYLE.

i dont want it to end -sobs hysterically-

omg coincidentally my iPod started playing Fun- We are young. that will be the national anthem of the first island i discover hahahahahahha i am literally crying tears of joy right now that i have such a damn good life. HORMONAL IMBALANCE OMG

omg i dreamt that i bumped into pea and keith twice at 2 different malls last night. it felt SUPER real hahaha maybe i can predict the future. i was like, EH PEA! what you doing here? and she was like, i dont remember.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT AM I DREAMING ABOUT

so out of desperation I started watching a series called Eureka. Its a damn old series and i was actually looking for more family based comedies like "Melissa and Joey' and 'Good luck Charlie' but I think I've watched almost every possible family comedy series on Funshion already. Eureka's alright, got through episode 1 and 2. Seems interesting, shall continue watching it. there are 5 seasons HAHAHA.

anyway, i reposted this article about netizens slamming a woman who was giving out food to the poor on facebook. i don't get singaporeans you know. really don't. people just like to criticise people because they can't do the same. they can't be the hero. so they don't want anyone else to shine. mankind is really awful these days.