hello!! i feel alot happier alrdy! met jiawen yesterday :DD along with adrien and fandy. hung around then went kbox hahaha. got scolded for coming home late though. thank god it was just scolding. phew. anyway!! gonna catch Clash of the Titans tmr! zz very early though, 12.45pm. what.. means i gotta wake up at.................adrien you owe me. excited though! hell of a good movie!

anyway i was supposed to go for job interview yesterday but the guy left the shop early and i was slightly late so nevermind my bad. then he told me to come today but when i called he said he dont remember this appointment WHAT THE FUCK. so for two days i travelled down to orchard for no fucking reason. dulan. but adrien acc me today haahahahaha yay.

hahahahah oaky im in one of those 'nothing-can-spoil-my-mood' moods :D

wow i really need to stop trying to convince myself that i am alright. fuck you fuck you!!! i've come to the point where i don't even wanna talk to you or see you!!!! your actions piss me off. your draggy emotions piss me off too. be a guy for goodness sakes. pffft, deep inside i know i'm just pissed cos someone else got to meet you before i did and refuses to return your fucking heart. and im pissed cos i wasn't good enough in your eyes to make you want to move on. im also pissed cos i cant stop myself from hanging out with you even though IN MY MIND, I SINCERELY DO NOT WANT TO BUT OH WTF MY HEART ALWAYS WINS. mind over matter?!!? since when?!!?!?

also, everytime i tell someone what im thinking i just feel super vulnerable to that person. like now your thoughts are open to mocking and scorning. you know. wow, why did i grow up to be an angsty teenager instead of a happy smiley girl. sometimes i really believe it has to do with my childhood. repressed emotions all pouring out now. can't help it eh, i dont wanna burst and die.

alright. be cool cherr, be cool. thats what you are. the girl who feels nothing. oh yea baby.

sheesh, i can't calm myself down. even if i ask myself "what would Jesus do?" its just not working. this is way more than i can take. honestly i just feel like shooting myself in the head.

but once again, i say Amen
and its still raining.

is every choice between good and bad, a choice between God and the Devil?

so would you rather i take pity on you? cos that's the last thing i would do.
want respect? earn it. stop whining about your misfortunes.

mood ruined early in the morning by some bitch. some people just have a knack for such things.

geez girl, your whole life is an act to please others. how sad are you?

and you know how sometimes you ask someone something NOT to find out the truth but to condemn them for it. to PROVE to yourself that YES they are that type of person, cos even if they told you they didn't do it you would still walk away thinking "son of a bitch liar."

sigh, the world is currently built such that you are enclosed by all kinds of bitches from all directions and when they all speak at once, there goes your sanity.

i may be a pig and eat all the food in the house but seriously, NUTRITION BARS? how sad do you think i am. if its not going to choke up my arteries and give me a heart attack there's no way i'm putting it in my mouth. pfft. absurd.

well then. bye.

:((((((((

funny how i've got everything i could ever ask for and even more but i still feel like you know, something's wrong. i think it's easier to count the days that im happy than to count those that im listless and moody which is weird cos i guess in life we kinda remember the serious things that make us really sad but since im so moody all the time, the events that stand out in my head are actually the happy ones. well, whatya know, blessing in disguise.

you know how they say family is the one you can turn to when you're in the pits and stuff? somehow it just doesn't work out for me. i have this urge to put on a front when im around my family. don't like them to know about my problems and stuff. weird huh. i guess its cos i don't like people to assume stuff? and give advice like they know the whole story? and lets face it friends usually just go 'yea i understand' and then they go on doing their own thing so i feel better talkin to them cos sometimes its a listening ear im looking for, not advice. or maybe i just don't really like to hear the truth sometimes.

i dont think im strong enough to quit.

heya! only uploading the minimum amt of pictures here, rest on fb.
okay met sam in the afternoon to go cityplaza. damn i saw a shitload of things that i wanna buy. stupid terrytang isn't getting back to me on the job yet though. can't wait to start working. after shopping we went to meet the guys in town.

AND THE BUS BROKE DOWN!!! my first time with sam -blush- hahaha.

felt the need to take a picture at the crime scene.


okay chilled in town till 8plus then met the guys for dinner.
random shot but i like it hahahaha

ate ding tai feng. fandy ate fried rice+zhajiang noodles. wtf, machiam never eat for 1 month haha. hmmm decided to head over to singapore river area to chill. ended up going to timbre.









i love this shot haha.


okay after that we walked around to sober up and stuff.




then sam asked the guys to piggyback us, laugh my ass off.



i don't wnna put the one of adrien and i cos its bloody funny he looks like he's going to collapse HAHAHAHHAHAHA do i need to lose weight or what. pfft. yup then cabbed home.

was quite alright today. the guys were quite 'on' towards the end. must be the effects of alcohol. so anyway, lots of upcoming plans. gonna be real busy and broke for the next few weeks. swell. alrighty, super tired and suddenly got 3480284023ulcers in my mouth. hope its not mouth cancer lmao. (ok if you are going to tell me that you wont get mouth cancer from a few ulcers then piss off please, i know what im saying).

peace. HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA

BRANDON FLOWERS

Brandon Flowers, Lead singer of The Killers is so bloody cute.


HAHAAHAHA HE'S SO FUNNY


perfect body.



i would kill to meet him. when he smiles in his videos i feel like melting HAHAHAHAHAH

okay so far my TO-MEET list adds up to:
1) jay chou, of course.
2) matthew perry!!! omg!!
3) brandon flowers
4) johnny depp!

your character is your destiny.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
i'm so fucking stupid.

i jogged today! haha. maybe will jog again tomorrow but its so tiresome to clean up after jogging.....

ah lets see, went for jiawen's concert yesterday with jon. went for supper today. yup thats about it. and results are coming out on monday 22/3 hahahahaaha. im gonna ask someone to check for me.

They say the Devil's Water it ain't so sweet,
You don't have to drink right now.
But you can dip your feet..
Every once in a little while.

you know what? i just wanna redo my whole life.

i'd be a different me.

'Are we human, or are we dancer?'
he's asking if we're humans with our own minds and individuality or dancers who portray the image that we're all the same following the same beat dancing the same moves.

i LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this song (thanks to my sis who sent it to me)! i actually put the MTV version first but i changed to the Live version cos its SO DAMN GOOD OMG!!

and hello to rainy days <3

i had the worst dream, ever.

okay first i was like in a house eating sandwich then suddenly one of the people in the house became crazy (pity too cos he was pretty hot, which goes to show you can't be hot and not have a major flaw somewhere else). and suddenly i was trying to escape through a window.. which was stupid cos it had grills. bite me.

so anyway, crazy guy dragged me back into the house which suddenly turned into some desert like barn. he started cutting up our bodies, yar when we were still alive. this part was kind of a blur and i was supposed to be dead but apparently i survived that. but when he set our bodies on fire, i tell you. i could feel myself burning and it was so fucking painful i teared. yar, real tears when i woke up my pillow had drops. and i only remember him saying "i'll be back to check on you." so i didn't dare to move. i wondered if any of my friends were burning alive too.

yup then the next thing i knew, everything was black and charred. then i just went to sleep (im pretty sure i died, duh). but when i woke up i was in another house and apparently i was this whole other person. a totally new person and i was conscious of what just happened to me in my 'past life'. but to everyone i was a whole new Cherryl, someone they had known for years and i didnt just die. so i played along. i saw the murderer (apparently he's friends with all my 'new' friends) but i smiled and pretended i didn't know him. he looked really scared though but i was trying so hard to act normal cos i didnt wanna die again. pfft.

and i only remembered i was trying so hard to call geok on my phone but i kept pressing the numbers wrongly even though i KNEW the number. and like the murderer just kept looking from a distance, it was hell cos i can't let him know i remember geok otherwise he'll know im the person he just killed or something. oh god.

well as usual, i went to Dreammoods to check out my dream.

Murder

To dream that you are murdered, suggests that some important and significant relationship has been severed and you are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions.

Fire

To dream that you are being burned by fire, indicates that your temper is getting out of control.(definitely true) Some issue or situation is burning you up inside.

Ashes

To see ashes in your dream, signifies bitter changes and disruptions. Ashes may represent a failed relationship or a ruinous business enterprise. You may be feeling that the good times are over and nothing of value is left in your life. Alternatively, you may be dwelling too much on the past. You need to learn to let go.

Burning

To dream that you or someone is being burned alive, suggests that you are being consumed by your own ambition.

i feel like i am even more screwed up by my dreams than reality hahahaha. sigh okay. gonna eat, bye.

okay i just opened Google Chrome although i downloaded it for ages already. and boy am i loving the new style. then again, i always get excited when i have new gadgets and stuff to play with, till i get bored. its cool though, now for both google chrome and firefox you can have your own personalised themes but i can't seem to find a simpsons one for chrome so right now im just kinda more swayed toward firefox.......................you're not really interested in knowing which browser i prefer right. HAHAHAAH.

okay, not leaving the house till i absolutely have to.

i think its sad when you tell everyone that its okay but subconsciously you still do stuff that obviously proves youre not okay. why do people keep doing things that don't help in the situation that they are in and keep hoping that this is a dream and something is bound to change in the end so that there will be a happy ending? awwww its so unfair that you're going about your life so normally. if you knew about the misery you're causing others would you still be so happy?
okay that wouldn't make sense to anyone unless you are me but its so hard to keep it all in. ): the more i try to stay away from such feelings the more they come back and disturb me. ):

you know, if i could have it my way, i would choose to live in a world without emotions. i don't care about being human. okay, i'll let everyone else have feelings. i wanna be like the tinman in Wizard of Oz without a heart. i wanna be a robot. oblivious to everyone's feelings so that nothing can affect me. selfish? we all are.

ZOO

HELLO I WENT TO THE ZOO YESTERDAY! hehehehe was really excited. met sam, adrien and fandy at the zooooooo cos we took different buses.

first stop, otters!!! awww!! look look its looking at me!!



hehehe

only one white tiger was walking up and down. the rest were just lying around playing dead. which reminds me, most of the animals there that afternoon looked dead cos they were mostly sleeping.


this fish is longer than your arm.


hippo!!!! hehehe.



warthog! its nocturnal thats why its sleeping. but its so adorable hahahaaha though it looks like a carcass.


i dont know, lizards?


kangaroo! also sleeping...........


emu emu emu!!




we went for the animal show. bird with nice feathers. is it a peacock? im not sure.


oh look, my mom.


hehe this thing damn cute. it was scurrying over the tight rope like it was damn scared hahahahaa


penguin! sam had the 'privilege' of seeing one of them poop. their poop is white and looks like semen.



emo monkey.


shy monkey look its covering its eyes hahahaa


POLAR BEAR!!!



hehe rhino.



my soulmate!



ostrich hehe.


mongoose!!


lioness!


giraffe! they say the darker the spots the older it is.





okay im utterly disgusted by the snakes section cos they feed the snakes with MICE. MICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. WHAT THE.
LOOK AT IT. I JUST WANNA CRY WHEN I SEE IT.


this snake was devouring a mouse.


and so was this.. reptile thing.



i think its cool how the wrap around a branch like that.


no its not a tree branch its a turtle!

pretty colour.


i forgot the name of this turtle.


THIS THING DAMN CUTE HAHA. shit i forgot what is it also.

ITS SAYING HI HAHAHAHAH SO CUTE AH.


komodo dragon!

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh i forgot what this is but its moulting [shedding its skin]!



giant turtles. they are damn cute i swear. i dont know why they are so slow though. its cute hahahaha.


sun bear. smallest bear in asia.


squirrel! outside SIM mngment house got alot sia.


this pic is blur but ITS STICKING ITS TONGUE OUT AT ME HAHAHAH.



dont know what bird ah.



HORSE!!! HORSE!!!!




haahhaha so cool ah the zebra crossing.




crocodile!



breakfast anyone?


hahahaha sam and i

then she told me to go make a vintage version


fffflamingo


partners for life.


yea after that we went to town to chill. then adrien had to go for chinese classes so we split ways and sam and i went 313 to chill.


haha yea thats all! oh then i took a bus with sam to bukit timah area and went to meet my sis and her friend for supper. YUPPPPS.

now i finally dont have to wake up early haha. alrighty bye!