i think life is throwing me lemons at the moment.

it is generally harder for people who are at different places in life to stay together. its always easier if you are able to see each other routinely in school or work, etc. and if you are at the same place in life you can do the same things together. that's why its even more special if you are apart most of the time. because you know whats keeping you together is not habit. its the raging fire in you to wanna see each other again and every moment spent together is special.

kinda stressed up now. because finance just became 130312321 times harder. i can be sitting in class and listening but i really dont get anything. makes me wanna cry all the time. nevermind. practice practice practice. this CNY break is not going to be a break because i have 2 major essay assignments to hand up after CNY week. which sucks. i never understood why people want to study and study and study until there is nothing else they can study anymore. i think a degree is sufficient for me. then again, maybe its because i've been so sheltered and my general knowledge is so minimal i dont know what is required to get a good job out there.

i can't wait to end my studies and get working. i feel most satisfied when im earning my own money. i know, without good education i'd get no where. fuck. all this is really giving me a headache. the future scares me all the time.

i know im 20 going on 21 and i should feel like im in the prime of my life but no. i feel really unsatisfied. i think JC was really the turning point of my life. ever since i did badly in JC my life has been going downhill. i know i have lamented this part of my life for eons since it passed but i guess you just dont get over some regrets.

well then.

on a lighter note, i saw this gorgeous shirt at ZARA that costs $80. i planned to buy it for new year but now i think im just goin to use my redpacket money to buy it for myself. GORGEOUS SHIRT.

hello my awesome earthlings. i have yet to get all my chinese new year clothes ): i always thought it was ironic how you get money DURING chinese new year. its like, geez, give it to me a week earlier and i could get some decent clothes for cny itself right.

I can tell when you're faking a smile. Can you tell when i'm really faking one?
At th end of it all, we still gotta look out for ourselves.

I cant believe i made it to an 8.30 class. Sim so kiam siap please. Want to save on electricity all the escalators not moving one ta ma de.

HI THERE. its funny how i used to update this thing everyday. sometimes even couple of times a day huh.

SO, happy new year guys! lets see, 2010 was a fruitful year i would say. stopped a few bad habits (hopefully people stopped judging me because of that), stuck to a job for like 3 whole months pfft hello? haha. couldn't have done it without geok though. (i know you're gonna ask me to shut the fuck up when you read this but I LOVEZZZZ YOU.) haha! made a whole lot of new friends and got back in touch with a whole lot of them too. though, i lost a few more friends last year. well, you gain some you lose some. had the best year end ever with tons of freedom and i thank god and my parents for that. i had SUCH a great 2010 i dont know what to say :D

and babyyyyy. you're the best thing that ever happened to me thus far in my life. i've never met anyone with a heart as good as yours and with actions so sincere. this is a toast to us and the months to come. iloveyou!

SO. 2011 huh? DID YOU KNOW THEY CHANGED THE ZODIACS? I AM NO LONGER A SCORPIO. HOLY.... yup apparently i am now a Libra. well i dont know about you guys but i kinda believe in horoscopes while some people think its bullshit. how else would you explain why im like that? hahaahaah SCORPIO PEOPLE, SCORPIO. so i heard it on the radio the other day and i couldn't find an official site for it yet but here's the gist of it.

there's going to be a new star sign called Ophiuchus. i know right, how do you even pronounce it, geez.

ATTRIBUTES THAT DESCRIBE THE SIGN OF OPHIUCHUS
• interpreter of dreams, premonitions
• attracts good luck
• serpent holder
• lofty ideals
• a seeker of peace and harmony
• doctor of medicine or science
• to add, increase, join or gather together
• poetical, inventive nature, expanding
• seeks higher education
• overseer, supervisor of work
• fame - either grand or completely misunderstood
• longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man
• architect, builder, reaches for the stars
• tax assessor or levys taxes
• astrological talents, intuitive
• large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young
• the number twelve holds great significance
• foresight to benefit from hard times
• has secret enemies in family or close associations
• many jealous of this subject
• notable father, apple of father's eye when young
• high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death however
• feelings of granular, wise,
• likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors
• receives the favor of those in charge

and your new starsigns are

ARIES = APRIL 19 - MAY 13
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18

see. they ruined everything! yup but i'm just gonna ignore that until its certified. pfft...

okay then im off to read my book. its called 'My Name is Memory' pretty captivating actually. bye!