funny how i've got everything i could ever ask for and even more but i still feel like you know, something's wrong. i think it's easier to count the days that im happy than to count those that im listless and moody which is weird cos i guess in life we kinda remember the serious things that make us really sad but since im so moody all the time, the events that stand out in my head are actually the happy ones. well, whatya know, blessing in disguise.

you know how they say family is the one you can turn to when you're in the pits and stuff? somehow it just doesn't work out for me. i have this urge to put on a front when im around my family. don't like them to know about my problems and stuff. weird huh. i guess its cos i don't like people to assume stuff? and give advice like they know the whole story? and lets face it friends usually just go 'yea i understand' and then they go on doing their own thing so i feel better talkin to them cos sometimes its a listening ear im looking for, not advice. or maybe i just don't really like to hear the truth sometimes.

i dont think im strong enough to quit.