okay i had this sudden urge to change my blogskin after seeing tiff change hers but as usual, my urge to do things always end up in me finding the urge to do something else.......

sigh anyway. i know exams are no where near. its start on like, the 26th but i already feel so unprepared and nervous. and i dont know whats becoming of me but i think im slacking off like, way too much. the cherryl lum from the past would NEVER have a less than 99% for attendance in school. now its 76% and if im late one more time i can kiss my exams byebye. warning letter came in today for not being in class when there was a random spotcheck. am i just super unlucky or what man. sometimes i miss my dad nagging at me to get up every morning and my mom getting mad at me for skipping school. as i grow older i truly realise its all for my own good. i wish i was still the little girl who daren't do something like skipping classes or being late in fear of my parents finding out and i dont really give a shit if my friends think im a wuss.

): am super unhappy with my life now. somewhere along the way i strayed.


i think its all the trivial stuff that has been clouding my judgement too. too worried about what you might see me as perhaps. i've been self conscious all my life and its just not going to stop now. i wish i wish i wish i could be like those kids who dont give a shit what the world thinks of them. ugh. i can't even keep to myself without worrying that my friends would think im some emoshit or something. think im just going to go out alone after school tomorrow, have some me time. sigh, love.

and my dearest dearest babyjoyce, you know that i'm right beside you when you're having your As but if you hear me whisper some answer please dont take it for real.