im officially love sick. i think singapore should be one of those countries where its so safe we don't even need NS men to protect our country. naw, im just saying that. ughhghhghghghghghghghghgghhhhhhhhh. i miss joshua. sad face.

just came home from hejun's party. happy 21st hejun!! makes me wonder about my 21st. one thing for sure i'm not even gonna bother inviting some no-show people. and i so dont want it to be awkward cos i knowwwww how that feels. hm, just rly close friends i guess. thank god all my friends are sociable and pretty much know each other. phew.

anyway so joshua and i had a debate about whether we would throw away our ex's stuff. i stood by no and he stood by yes. simply put, i would never throw away my memories. you wouldnt, no? but he thinks that if i read the letters and see the stuff that my ex gave me i would compare this r/s to that and pick on the little things. its not like that for me. i'm not talking about extreme situations like the room still being filled with the ex's stuff cos they used to stay over or whatever. that one must throw. im talking about stuff that they gave you.

i personally wouldn't wanna know that my ex threw away stuff that i gave them. cos hell, i spent a shitload of money and effort on whatever it is that i gave you. vice versa i would treasure everything they gave me even if we broke up already. its not a symbol of love, its a symbol of gratefulness. so i would never understand couples who expect their new partners to throw away stuff that their ex's gave them. i told joshua that even if we are getting married, only MAYBE, would i throw away stuff my ex's gave me.

there are so many aspects. like im a very sentimental person. and so much has changed. every little thing that could remind me of what was, i would keep. EVEN IF they are bad memories. im not gonna say its so that i would be thankful of how happy i am now. thats like bullshit reasoning. but they are my past and i would like to keep every single thing that helps me capture my memories.

having said that, i wonder if i would do the same for my partner or if i would request for them to throw away stuff........ haha double standard much.

anyway. life has been treating me well. pretty much i guess. i'm slowly recovering from my unfortunate incident. and i'm just moving on from it. if i told you about it it means that i really do trust you even though we've drifted but you used to be my pillars of strengths so yea.

damn it dont even get me started on why i've drifted from my friends. i feel like im just lamenting and lamenting. but rly v shitty what. sigh, let me try and be thankful for some things.

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..........nope couldn't think of anything. SERIOUSLY.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.