i think life is throwing me lemons at the moment.

it is generally harder for people who are at different places in life to stay together. its always easier if you are able to see each other routinely in school or work, etc. and if you are at the same place in life you can do the same things together. that's why its even more special if you are apart most of the time. because you know whats keeping you together is not habit. its the raging fire in you to wanna see each other again and every moment spent together is special.

kinda stressed up now. because finance just became 130312321 times harder. i can be sitting in class and listening but i really dont get anything. makes me wanna cry all the time. nevermind. practice practice practice. this CNY break is not going to be a break because i have 2 major essay assignments to hand up after CNY week. which sucks. i never understood why people want to study and study and study until there is nothing else they can study anymore. i think a degree is sufficient for me. then again, maybe its because i've been so sheltered and my general knowledge is so minimal i dont know what is required to get a good job out there.

i can't wait to end my studies and get working. i feel most satisfied when im earning my own money. i know, without good education i'd get no where. fuck. all this is really giving me a headache. the future scares me all the time.

i know im 20 going on 21 and i should feel like im in the prime of my life but no. i feel really unsatisfied. i think JC was really the turning point of my life. ever since i did badly in JC my life has been going downhill. i know i have lamented this part of my life for eons since it passed but i guess you just dont get over some regrets.

well then.

on a lighter note, i saw this gorgeous shirt at ZARA that costs $80. i planned to buy it for new year but now i think im just goin to use my redpacket money to buy it for myself. GORGEOUS SHIRT.