sucks. sam is right. i'm like fucking back to square 1. i like having the queasy stomach aches and the anticipation of receiving a text from someone you like but i hate it when it becomes one of those situations where you can't fucking get past a day w/o hearing from them. damn frustrating. i guess i wasn't ready to be one on one with you yet. cos now there are just surges of memories from the day we met till now. its the expectations i swear. the fucking expectation that since you msged me when you needed me you would be bound to do it even after i helped you. STUPID OR WHAT. YOU THINK EVERYONE LIKE AN ANGEL AH CHERRYL LUM. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP EXPECTING THINGS TO HAPPEN. OMG! OMG! OMG! WHY DO SUCH PERIODS IN MY LIFE HAPPEN SO OFTEN. why can't i just let things go. why why why why why why why why why do i need a real hard fall to get over things. WHY AM I SO VULNERABLE. WHY DO I ALWAYS MEET PEOPLE THAT I CAN'T LIVE W/O FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME. i doubt there's anyone who had the same feeling about me. omg i'm like fucking left on the shelf. HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA L.

uniboy: i'm getting a chinchilla =D
cherryl: shld pit it against my mice someday
uniboy: it's bigger and it jumps =D
cherryl: don't underestimate my mice
uniboy: okay fine i'm getting a cat.

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA

thank you my dear sister.

sometimes in life, we come close to having that perfect moment with that perfect someone. the mood is right, the place is right, everything but the most important of all - the feeling. as much as you want the experience to be as important to them, it will just be another normal day in their lives..

my mood is so fucking bad i don't even know what to do.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. EXAMS ARE OVER. :D
i know it seems like i only had to endure my agony for like 3 minutes as compared to like those people who have no breaks and are like constantly studying but WHATEVER THIS IS AS MUCH AS I CAN TAKE. im so exhausted. went to lot1 today with sam. all the way at cck. then went tiong bahru to teach f MA. i realised tiong bahru is really damn fucking near to every place. cck to there by train is less than half hour you know. somemore it was near peak hour already like 5 something.

i like the way things are now.

okay i didn't sleep last night, went for exam, studied after school then came back and napped till now. so i'm like half zombie half human now. omg omg omg so sucky i'm gonna finish finance and faster sleep. tmr marks my freedom!!! i have to admit SIM's exam schedule has always been so short and retarded. but yay anyway! (:

i'm eating cheese flavored ruffles and my mice are going crazy from the smell. hehehe cute.

hi there.
am really upset right now because i think i am going to fail my first paper. i didn't really mind failing in JC because it was like... FREE?!!??! $300 TO REPEAT A MODULE IN SIM LEH. I SELL ALL MY ORGANS ALSO NOT SO MUCH. fuck..i just want a pass. otherwise i have been slogging for all the fucking projects for fuck.

it's kind of pointless to tell anyone how upset i'm feeling cos all they say is "oh don't worry lah im sure you will pass!" or "don't be upset! im sure it will be okay!" okay my fucking ass!? i'm fucking honest. if i am prepared for a paper i will never tell anyone that i have not studied. if i tell you there is a 90% chance i might fail THEN JUST FUCKING BELIEVE ME CAN ANOT. then again, there's not much anyone can reply to that either.

fuck much.

okay i was so bored i decided to change my fuckin old blogskin. and yet, no progress in OTQM.

"All I need is the air i breathe and a place to rest my head."
OneRepublic

(scroll over the quote above!! there will be a cat haha so cute!)
kinda true isn't it? that's all we need to survive. relationships, drama - all extra. though some money and food would be nice.

can't wait for holidays to come. i can finally work and earn some money. that ought to get my parents off my back for abit. sometimes i feel like they are smothering me. sometimes is an understatement.

p.s i love you bff!
p.p.s i think i lost my knack for blogging ):

it's not funny anymore.

feeling extremely angsty right now cos I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DO FUCKING OTQM.

people lie about the stupidest things.

just occurred to me that i haven't been staying up till the wee hours of the morning anymore. like right now i'm fucking tired but i have no choice cos i need to study and i wasted like half the week away already. can't wait for june hols. finally can stay up doing something i wanna do.

always makes me tear (:

i love waking up to a new day. cos you can just ignore everything that happened the day before. so here i am!! top form again!! :>

yet again i have to pretend like i am okay and it was all just a joke. i wonder how many similar incidents there were in my life. SHIT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME.

SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS MY FUCKING ANGEL.

AWWWWW THE WORMS MAKE ME SMILE HAHAHAHA DID YOU SEE THE WAY IT CLAPPED ITS HANDS AT THE END HAHAHAHA. fucking cute!!

wah fuck, got to stop emoing over things that are of the past or things that have yet to come. focus on the present babyyyyy however dismal it may be.

if i tell you, its over.

hi there.
this is the n^th time I've alighted a bus to vomit. damn i really think something is seriously wrong with me. can't be motion sickness right. its so hell annoying luh i srsly thought i was gonna vomit on the bus and i was already thinking of my great escape. ugh. it was even more embarrassing to vomit by the road side. i could have bet that at least ONE person was thinking if i were pregnant. hurhurrr.

school's finally out. CA results were out today too. so hell upset with it. i got a C. HELLO A C GRADE HOMFG. though i did get A for the other 2 but a C. HOMFG. fuck otqm upside down man. it's such a fucked up guys topic that girls just don't get. sigh.

taught ffffff MA after school. amazed i could still remember the core topics. hope he does well! on the very bright side, awkward silences are finally all gone and we are completely back to normal friends. i've waited for this day to come since forever. dark times DO pass. :>

attended my cousin's wedding last night. it was really one of those occasions where you get caught in the moment and you fast forward to the future to see how your own wedding would be like, who you would invite, where it would be and stuff. spectacular. how i yearn to find a romantic husband :>

alrighty. later.

the sunrise gives me hope, the sunset gives me memories.

past few days have been occupied with WOW (world of warcraft, yes i know people play that when they are in secondary school), worrying about exams but not taking action, and bitch public transport. sigh, how i loathe public transport. yes next week will be intensive studying week. because I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. fuckkkk. super worried for this exam. okay. gotta run, playing wow HAHHAHAHAHAHA BYE

nothing out of the norm has been occurring in my life. just catching up with terry, crying over spilt milk and feeling really worried for my exams. no sign of things taking a good turn and high expectations met with higher disappointments again. why oh why?

“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”

(via dirtylittlestylewhore)

moving on to a new chapter in life.
but something's keeping me from smiling.
i bet you are thinking whats new.
well then.

"no news is good news" can be read in the optimist's way such that receiving no news about someone, is considered good news. or the pessimist's way such that no news received is ever good news. hm.

how does one not love such cute mice?

in order: adrien, sam and fandy. HAHAHAHA.

here's fandy. its the one that gave birth hahahahhahahaha.
haha, adrien psyched me into trying to put them on my hand. wasn't hard actually. and their bites are TOTALLY harmless. damn cute. (:

finally handed in the last project. need to start studying for exams already. THREE SIGHS FOR EXAMS. HIPHIP SIGH.. hiphip...... somehow i feel guilty just taking a break now even though projs just ended. hmmm its a sign that i know shit about whats going on.

i feel heavy hearted, yes again. but no idea why. anyway had a good phone chat with nphua last night. like after 8293820328 years. omg his spoken english is so fluent now. jealous. hmm. he gave me some things to think about.

ya anyway bye. think i'll go watch tv.

i miss being pampered.

fucking annoyed with everyone.

fuck it :(

emotions wise, i'm dead in every aspect.
friendships, love: nothing can save it.

HAHAHA I FED MY MICE RICE AND THEY SNATCHED IT FROM MY HAND OMG DAMN CUTE.

oh nooooooo. aiyo, i must remember that my heart is not for sale.
noooooooooooooo. i need to do something drastic to distract myself. another haircut? feel like cutting it short. not boy short, just short. sheesh what other drastic things can you do to yourself to distract yourself from your thoughts. drugs, drinking, HAHA im kidding. but seriously.......

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. stop thinking stop thinking!! oh anyway yesterday i flagged a police car cos i thought it was a taxi hahahahahahahahahahahahah its lights werent on so from far i could only see the white part in the middle. when it got closer i saw the words POLICE on the car and they were alrdy going to stop cos they put the blinker lights then i just waved them off. fucking paiseh!!

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
my heart is not for sale.........................

jul's 21st at onedegree15 was awesome!

rest of the pics w all of em. upload when i get em!

hey.
one of my mice gave birth today when i wasn't home. and it was too late when i got home because she had killed all 4 of them because she felt threatened with other mice in the box. i feel so guilty for not noticing that she was pregnant although i did dote on her the most among all of them. it was heart wrenching just looking at all four dead babies in my hand; i felt like a murderer. sigh. a moment of silence please.


finally handed in econs and finance individual project. though added together, they weren't as tedious as OTQM but i still haven't slept properly in ages. i feel like my heart has been left somewhere but i dont know where and i can't find it.. once again, im alone.

i was on the bus to school yesterday when i saw an advertisement for Baygon's new CITRUS insect spray. somehow the impression it gives me is this:

CITRUS just doesnt seem to go with something that should be KILLING that ugly thing.
my idea of a strong Baygon is this:

in my opinion they should make the spray as foul smelling as possible hahaha!! i know i know.. to our detriment though.

anyway i'm so upset with myself. i fell asleep while doing my finance project and i didn't make it to school. sigh. i hate this sem luh its just a freaking bad sem. ):

人与人之间的关系, 真的太复杂了.. 我不希望我们的犹豫会像日落一样代表一切的结束.

somehow all my problems always end with me throwing a fit and going "i don't give a damn anymore". concession? wouldn't say so. more like avoidance. sometimes i like to think that if i say "i dont give a damn" it would really all go away and i can REALLY not give a damn. actually i would prefer if nothing was happening in my life so that i would be complaining about something unreal rather than something that has consequences and stuff.

i am so detestable. AND NEEDY. cfm gonna die alone.

i think i am a raving psychotic drama bitch when it comes to r/s.
i am so going to die alone.

adrien is by far the nicest friend i ever had :>

i know my problems are trivial when compared to others but.. maybe it sucks more cos its so trivial YET i can't do anything about it. love how life throws shit in your face.

after all that's been said and done.

for life.

sorry. i hope you're doing better than i am despite all the shit thats happening to you.

you know how you start singing a sad song then the more you sing the more you realise your life is like that and your voice starts to shake a little then you sing some more and you end up crying?
.................

i was searching the net for more info on my operations chapter and i found a site that is IDENTICAL to my notes. omg SIM such rip offs. copy from net then say that plagiarism is an offense. offense my ass!!!

update/ oh wait. thats just the online version of my textbook. HAHAHAHAHAAHAAH

the only thing that comes to my mind everytime i pick up operations and totaly qlty management proj qst paper to do is "cheebye la".

notice how there are a TRUCKLOAD of FEMALE singers whose songs are about bastards and getting over them while IRONICALLY male singers tend to sing about everlasting love.

:< I'm like SO fucking sick of finance.

HELLO. I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO BLOG.

okay 1 down. stupid econs project. i hate those projects where you have to find an article and analyze it. walau eh, want to test us on application just give us a case study or something can anot!!!!? anyway. 5 more to go. 2 due next week. 3 the week after. and the dates are back to back. WALAU HIONG ANOT!?

haha i think i talk like an ah lian when im agitated.

anyway i didnt go to school again HAHAHA I SKIPPED ALL THE SATURDAYS SO FAR HAHAHAHA. wtf really no mood to wake up at bloody 8am on a saturday man. and im having lethal cramps. wtf how come as i get older i keep getting cramps. :<

anyway irony but you know what part of school i like the best? its the staying back to do projects :> cos everyone has such a good time together haha. yesterday we stayed to do finance then we got bored so we turned off the study room lights and played hide and seek. HAHAAHAHAHAH I KNOW.... anyway it was raining SO heavily yesterday was kinda scary. though i love it :> a tree fell in the middle of the road at tiong bahru!!! my first time seeing a tree in the middle of the road.

anyway.. people get extra angry when things are said about them and its not true. for me its the opposite. when things are said about me and they are not true i'll laugh about it. if they are true i will get really angry though i wont admit to it cos i dont like how vulnerable i feel. like how others can see right through me. and people just dont like people to tell them their flaws i guess.

so cheryl popped the question again for the 80483242 time since i knew her. HAHA.



and it just got me thinking of what i feel about that.

i honestly believe there isn't a reason for falling in love with someone. its not something like they treat you very nice then one fine day you finally give in or because they fit all the requirements of your 'list'. it just happens.

one day you feel okay around them and the next thing you know, your heart is pounding, your palms won't stop sweating and you have the urge to see them every day cos just seeing them would make your day. i believe this is the kind of love that will last but is also the most painful because if it didnt need a reason to start, there's no solid reason for it to stop. well, most painful cos if it is really unrequited love and you don't have a reason to stop loving them then... tough luck.

but it will last because they can't do anything to spoil it. i know that after loving someone for a long time you will start to notice their flaws but another thing i strongly believe in is that love surpasses all that. people always ask me why all the guys i like look so cui one (LOL) i also don't know. somehow i just over look that and see whats inside. at least i try to dig and see if theres anything good hahaha.

aiya random thought i wonder how many people in the world are having their honeymoon at this instance.

hello. i just had a close to 5 hours nap and it felt.. no where near good. cos i had to force myself to wake up and complete my stupid econs project. its not that i don't know what to write, i already have everything i want in mind. its just that before my nap,i spent what seemed like eternity drawing one graph on microsoft word. its SO ANNOYING to try to align everything and all. UGH.

not in a good mood at all. feel damn pissed off at everything. feel like i dont match up. feel like im trying damn hard for nothing.

ok this is in regards to no one at all. but how can some people be so relaxed about group projects? they owe it to the group to do a good job. how can they be so alright with getting shit grades. i often wonder how people can wait till the last minute to start and just do some sub standard work. its like people always say "oh, if they dont wanna do it then you dont do it either". but for me that will never work man. in a sense im being stupid yet smart. im stupid to even bother about putting in effort since its a die together thing but im not that stupid to not do anything and fail right. some people are just...

headache :(


hey furry baby i would love you more than anything in the world :)

sometimes...it's nice talking to strangers.

my job sucks. i can't quit. and i haven't started on a single project. i don't understand a single bit of finance and that is TRAGIC cos its not some theory memorisation crap you can cram right before the exam.
my life sucks. period.

HEHEHE THE STRAWBERRY SO CUTE.

it was shaped like a bunny :D:D:D
makes me smile. i dont know why. hahahahaa

"As the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground,
There's a season change &all the pinks and whites have turned to brown.
Will we make it through the Fall? We're gonna make it through this Fall,
Cos i don't wanna fall with you."
Roses&Butterflies - Making April

damn, this song is perfection. love the play on words.
Fall as in autumn.

its inevitable that in life, we will all have the need to use the F word at least once.
even angels do it.

HAHAHAHA OK READ THIS

"ok+ok=ok, good+ok=ok? and how about poor+ok?"
"If it is poor+ok, you may choose either "poor" or "ok", depending on the degree of the "poorness". If the poor is "very poor", then the overall would probably be towards "poor". Either "poor" or "ok" is fine if you state your reasons."

IS IT YOU READ ALREADY ALSO BLUR HAHAHAHA WTF WHERE GOT LECTURE NOTES LIKE THAT ONE. fucking biz finance hahahahahaha

anyway you are becoming one of those people who are like 'my boyfriend this my boyfriend that my boyfriend my boyfriend my boyfriend." sheesh.

i had a dream. :) a dream, not a nightmare. how often does that happen eh?
there was a guy. he had the nicest strongest shoulders :) we took polaroids. he took one of me when i was totally unaware and said he'd never seen anything more beautiful. i wanted to kiss his cheek for being so sweet but he cheekily turned and we kissed on the lips instead. we snuggled. it was perfect. everything i ever wanted.
its going to happen to me someday. i know it. :)

you know, i found an up side to being made used off/ only being sought out when people need something. it is the only time when people are EXTREMELY nice to you! i know that they are being extremely pretentious as well but heyhey its the only time you get to see a conniving bitch act like you are Jesus. so lets all go get made used off!

p.s. Tone: Sarcastic.


you see. the bad thing about unrequited love is that the one being loved gets the upper hand and can take their time to be a manipulative mindfucking bastard while the other party does his bidding cos they are soOoOooOoooOoooo in love and a wrong move might ruin their already non-existent chance of the bastard changing his mind.

and YETTTTT WE ALLL CONTINUE TO BE SLAVESSSSSS. CONGRATULATIONS ON EVOLVING, HUMANS.

last night i was listening to class 95's love songs and the topic was on 'Toxic Friends'. do you know that for whatever reason, every 7 years we change about half of our friends. and one of the reasons was toxic friends. here's 5 signs that your friend is 'toxic':

1) Your friend cant be genuinely happy for you (e.g jealousy and competitiveness)
2) Your friend is a constant source of stress (i.e always complaining and whining and negative.)
3) Your friend is overly critical and its not constructive criticism.
4) When your friend is always there on his/her terms. i.e She chooses the time date place and topic of conversation. or only looks for you when she wants to whine.
5) If your friend is plain crazy i.e copying you in whatever you do.

hmmmm. i think i am a toxic sister.

alone again on an afternoon with an overcast sky. what could come out of it besides thinking and over thinking? the more i try the more i literally feel my heart slowly being ripped apart and the worst part? there's no way to piece it back together.
no one to talk to, no where to run.
i need a distraction.

sadness trumps happiness because the impact of the bad stuff always leaves a deeper mark than the happy stuff.

take hugs and loneliness for example. yes we get hugged many times by our peers and family as we grow up (not so much for me though haha) and there are the times where we feel like no one is ever there for us. but seriously, how many of those hugs do you remember? how many of those hugs really left an impact on you? i'm guessing maximum 2 (for me its nil). whereas on the other hand you will always remember being left alone. because it haunts you. something like a phobia you know? once you experience it you would never want to go through it again.


vs

could also be that the proportion of happy incidents to sad incidents is like 20:1 thats why we can remember clearly each time we are sad but only vaguely when we are happy.. wonder how it works for perpetually happy people. one day they are just going to burst.

HELLO JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!! did i mention JAY CHOU COMING TO SINGAPORE WHOOHOO. BUT THE TICKETS ALL SOLD OUT ALREADY OH MY GOD. ITS ON THE 24 OF JULY! I HOPE HE DOES SOME SIGNING AND PICTURE TAKING SOMEWHERE OH MY GOD!!!!!

anyway i got a job! finally finally finally finally.

just now i walked into Borders and bought Financial Times for my projects and it costs $5.20. so i went out and complained to my parents and it turns out Financial times is not printed in singapore haahahahahahahhahahahaah what i was looking for was Business times. AM I STUPID OR STUPID OMG. anyway they refunded me my money haha. oops.

okay why the hell is time passing so quickly? its like i barely blinked and its friday already?!?!!??! ALREADY?!?!?!?!?! haahahahahah okay i gotta go do my projs otherwise they will pile up like.. like i dont know what.

oh and why do people like to do things in public that are WEIRD. like on the bus today there were people digging their teeth (with ALL sorts of things; bus tickets, finger, etc), applying make up (i mean from scratch, funny), biting fingernails, etc..... its like they really dont care that there are people around them. really weird people.

okay gonna read some business finance cos i dont know what the hell is going on up till now.

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/video/video.php?v=384606929231&ref=nf

not perfect but i like!

I'm fine, thank you.

What i really wanted to tell you on your birthday was:

I may not understand why this journey has been harder than ever but i know it has been worth while. I don't know what is it that makes me think of your smile, the way you walk, how your eyes crease when you laugh - but i will never forget. We may not have many common topics but i could sit quietly and watch you all day. There's no point telling others how much i want to give you a hug every time i see you, how much i want to ruffle your hair, how much i want to listen to you ramble on&on, how butterflies flutter in my stomach everytime i hear your name because they have no idea how intense this feeling is.

I know i will be green with envy and be choked up with tears when you finally find someone whose hand you will hold, whose tears you will wipe, whose head you will support with your shoulder. But i wish you nothing but love&joy. You, my dear, were made in heaven.

You were the reason for all of my smiles and tears for the past few months but tomorrow i'll wake and smile because it'll be a brand new day for you, for me.
I love you.

gosh i just feel so bummed out right now. i think i should live on events that only happen in my mind so that i can manipulate reality and everything will pan out the way i want it to. its like im never satisfied with what comes at me in reality, its SO hard. like you know you talk to someone then there come the worry that they wont reply so your mood dampens. then when they do reply its not really the reply you had in mind then your mood plunges to its death.

omgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmgmg. :(

if i could have a superpower it would be to manipulate people HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

hahaha thnks for all the concern guys. i feel a tad happier from all the care already.

today is a special day. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA ;)

anyway i cut school today 80% cos i wasn't feeling really good and 20% cos i was lazy to get up and travel hehe. oh for crying out loud, its a saturday :(

you know they say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. i wonder what will flash before my eyes.

okay i just deleted a whole chunk of vulgarities targeting some irresponsible person who took his friend's efforts to celebrate his birthday for granted.


moving on. good time with sam fandy and adrien. :)


aiyarrrrr my running nose and cough and itchy throat is not even going away lar fuck. fucking annoying.

i am the most possessive person on earth. somehow i like to think that my friends are just mine. thus i will keep bugging you to meet me and catch up because i like to think that you have stuff to tell me too. if i stop bugging you it really means i dont care about you anymore because you clearly don't give a damn either.

原来心酸比心痛难受

today is reportedly the worst day of the week.

firstly a stupid I(think of a race and its seriously not my prob they always leave a shit impression on me) bus driver refused to open the door even though i was RIGHT in front of the door waving and he was STATIONARY at the bloody bus stop. furthermore i ran to the bus in high hopes of catching it. you will see how this links to what happens next.

so i caught the later bus. on the way i saw that the sky was overcast so i prayed for God to hold back the rain for a little while because i had to walk a fucking long way to school from the bus stop. but noOoOOoo it started to drizzle just as i was reaching the bus stop. i thought to myself nevermind, still can be thankful at least its not heavy rain. walked ten steps and it started to pour. i mean POUR. who the hell was peeing from up above. i expected the china girl in front of me to offer to share an umbrella (cos she turned to look at me) but noOoOooOoo like i was too big for her puny made-in-china umbrella. so i half ran half pranced which wasnt of any help besides making everyone who passed me on a cab laugh. i couldn't run because i was wearing flipflops and it was drenched with water so seriously you just can't run in that. so i walked.

which you see, is the reason why i said that if i had caught the earlier bus i could have missed the rain. so fuck you bus driver i hope your license gets revoked and your livelihood depends on that.

on the bus home an I woman sat next to me with her I child. and seriously i dont mind sitting with small children who climb around their mother's head and does a bungee jump onto their mother's shoulders from the chair behind and SCREAAAAAAAAMS in the highest most annoying voice ever but TOUCH ME AND YOU'RE DEAD. IT touched me with its feet; IT who ran around the bus BAREFOOT (and seriously the bus is damn filthy i was stepping on gum and i didnt even know till i had to leave the bus and i couldn't lift my foot up). i nearly had a seizure from the trauma. i swear in my head i was just yelling "UGHHHHHH UGHHHHHHHH!!!! i should decapitate my arm................"

the only thing i'm damn thankful for today is that the bus conductor didn't come and check tickets today because i totally didn't give the right fare and if i had to get off the bus and walk home i would kill myself.

on a side note, i have the cold and cough and its NOT FUNNY. MOTHERFUCKERS COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU SNEEZE AND COUGH CAN ANOT.

and whats with the motherfucking internet. can't load a fucking thing.

so there.

I could sit and watch you all day.

okay 1) the gap between Chuck's teeth is distracting and
2) Jenny Humphrey is a SLUT.

Closure.

today sucked more than yesterday but thankfully,

pretty people make my day.


还不想回家的我，
在多人陪只会更寂寞.

WHY AM I SO FUCKING TIRED.

oh that's right. cos the terror has begun. did i mention business finance is SHIT boring. its like x2031015942 more boring than accounting. sheesh, feel so bummed out after attending that stupid lesson. thank god tomorrow is microecons. can chill abit. sigh.

SIGH. I FEEL LIKE SHIT ):

我很想记得, 可是我记不得
为什么这样子? 你看着我说你已经决定
我拉不住你, 她的手应该比我更暖
印象中的爱情好像顶不住那时间
所以你弃权.

WHY!!?!??!?!??!? WHY DOESNT ANYTHING GO MY WAY!?!?!?!?!?

i was afk then suddenly when i came back i saw this .

HAHAHAAHAHAH USUALLY ITS JUST A SMALL PET HAHAAHAHAHAHA

people used to tell me that the friends who will last are those you make in uni/jc. i used to brush them off and say that my sec sch and pri sch friends are just as lasting.

now i'm not sure what i really believe in.

"Went to the store, sat on santa's lap
asked him to bring my friends
all kinds of crap"

HAHAAHAHAHAA AHAHAHAAHAHAHAH AHHHHH PHOEBE SO FUNNY.

): rings are so expensive.
omg i can stare at this ring for the whole day.

it says "Mine the darkness: See by the path you leave behind" - Andy Young. cool huh.
Jeanine Payer rings are the sex i tell you.

went to watch Clash of the Titans!! but i must say it was pretty disappointing. yea, it was action packed and all but it didnt WOW me, ya know? i was more WOWed by the trailer HAHAAHHAHAH. but overall, still a movie to see. maybe it'll wow you haahahahah. an example of a movie that wowed me is like.. the matrix. 60% cos my keanu reeves hottie was in it hahahha. nah im kidding.

so anyway, my shirt tore. i look like someone tried to grab my by my sleeve then it tore hahahah damn joke. went to fandy's friend's shop to mend it. thanks ah! yup after that was supposed to play pool but the place we wanted to go was no longer there hahaahah bloody hell i think the last time adrien went there was ten yrs ago or something. went cq for a drink instead. and events that happened after that shall be kept secret for my sake HAHAHHAAHHAHA.


the best times in my life are those that can't be replaced by any other person. you know, like even if you did the same thing with someone else, it wouldn't hold a single meaning. :)

hello!! i feel alot happier alrdy! met jiawen yesterday :DD along with adrien and fandy. hung around then went kbox hahaha. got scolded for coming home late though. thank god it was just scolding. phew. anyway!! gonna catch Clash of the Titans tmr! zz very early though, 12.45pm. what.. means i gotta wake up at.................adrien you owe me. excited though! hell of a good movie!

anyway i was supposed to go for job interview yesterday but the guy left the shop early and i was slightly late so nevermind my bad. then he told me to come today but when i called he said he dont remember this appointment WHAT THE FUCK. so for two days i travelled down to orchard for no fucking reason. dulan. but adrien acc me today haahahahaha yay.

hahahahah oaky im in one of those 'nothing-can-spoil-my-mood' moods :D

wow i really need to stop trying to convince myself that i am alright. fuck you fuck you!!! i've come to the point where i don't even wanna talk to you or see you!!!! your actions piss me off. your draggy emotions piss me off too. be a guy for goodness sakes. pffft, deep inside i know i'm just pissed cos someone else got to meet you before i did and refuses to return your fucking heart. and im pissed cos i wasn't good enough in your eyes to make you want to move on. im also pissed cos i cant stop myself from hanging out with you even though IN MY MIND, I SINCERELY DO NOT WANT TO BUT OH WTF MY HEART ALWAYS WINS. mind over matter?!!? since when?!!?!?

also, everytime i tell someone what im thinking i just feel super vulnerable to that person. like now your thoughts are open to mocking and scorning. you know. wow, why did i grow up to be an angsty teenager instead of a happy smiley girl. sometimes i really believe it has to do with my childhood. repressed emotions all pouring out now. can't help it eh, i dont wanna burst and die.

alright. be cool cherr, be cool. thats what you are. the girl who feels nothing. oh yea baby.

sheesh, i can't calm myself down. even if i ask myself "what would Jesus do?" its just not working. this is way more than i can take. honestly i just feel like shooting myself in the head.

but once again, i say Amen
and its still raining.

is every choice between good and bad, a choice between God and the Devil?

so would you rather i take pity on you? cos that's the last thing i would do.
want respect? earn it. stop whining about your misfortunes.

mood ruined early in the morning by some bitch. some people just have a knack for such things.

geez girl, your whole life is an act to please others. how sad are you?

and you know how sometimes you ask someone something NOT to find out the truth but to condemn them for it. to PROVE to yourself that YES they are that type of person, cos even if they told you they didn't do it you would still walk away thinking "son of a bitch liar."

sigh, the world is currently built such that you are enclosed by all kinds of bitches from all directions and when they all speak at once, there goes your sanity.

i may be a pig and eat all the food in the house but seriously, NUTRITION BARS? how sad do you think i am. if its not going to choke up my arteries and give me a heart attack there's no way i'm putting it in my mouth. pfft. absurd.

well then. bye.

:((((((((

funny how i've got everything i could ever ask for and even more but i still feel like you know, something's wrong. i think it's easier to count the days that im happy than to count those that im listless and moody which is weird cos i guess in life we kinda remember the serious things that make us really sad but since im so moody all the time, the events that stand out in my head are actually the happy ones. well, whatya know, blessing in disguise.

you know how they say family is the one you can turn to when you're in the pits and stuff? somehow it just doesn't work out for me. i have this urge to put on a front when im around my family. don't like them to know about my problems and stuff. weird huh. i guess its cos i don't like people to assume stuff? and give advice like they know the whole story? and lets face it friends usually just go 'yea i understand' and then they go on doing their own thing so i feel better talkin to them cos sometimes its a listening ear im looking for, not advice. or maybe i just don't really like to hear the truth sometimes.

i dont think im strong enough to quit.

heya! only uploading the minimum amt of pictures here, rest on fb.
okay met sam in the afternoon to go cityplaza. damn i saw a shitload of things that i wanna buy. stupid terrytang isn't getting back to me on the job yet though. can't wait to start working. after shopping we went to meet the guys in town.

AND THE BUS BROKE DOWN!!! my first time with sam -blush- hahaha.

felt the need to take a picture at the crime scene.


okay chilled in town till 8plus then met the guys for dinner.
random shot but i like it hahahaha

ate ding tai feng. fandy ate fried rice+zhajiang noodles. wtf, machiam never eat for 1 month haha. hmmm decided to head over to singapore river area to chill. ended up going to timbre.









i love this shot haha.


okay after that we walked around to sober up and stuff.




then sam asked the guys to piggyback us, laugh my ass off.



i don't wnna put the one of adrien and i cos its bloody funny he looks like he's going to collapse HAHAHAHHAHAHA do i need to lose weight or what. pfft. yup then cabbed home.

was quite alright today. the guys were quite 'on' towards the end. must be the effects of alcohol. so anyway, lots of upcoming plans. gonna be real busy and broke for the next few weeks. swell. alrighty, super tired and suddenly got 3480284023ulcers in my mouth. hope its not mouth cancer lmao. (ok if you are going to tell me that you wont get mouth cancer from a few ulcers then piss off please, i know what im saying).

peace. HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA

BRANDON FLOWERS

Brandon Flowers, Lead singer of The Killers is so bloody cute.


HAHAAHAHA HE'S SO FUNNY


perfect body.



i would kill to meet him. when he smiles in his videos i feel like melting HAHAHAHAHAH

okay so far my TO-MEET list adds up to:
1) jay chou, of course.
2) matthew perry!!! omg!!
3) brandon flowers
4) johnny depp!

your character is your destiny.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
i'm so fucking stupid.

i jogged today! haha. maybe will jog again tomorrow but its so tiresome to clean up after jogging.....

ah lets see, went for jiawen's concert yesterday with jon. went for supper today. yup thats about it. and results are coming out on monday 22/3 hahahahaaha. im gonna ask someone to check for me.

They say the Devil's Water it ain't so sweet,
You don't have to drink right now.
But you can dip your feet..
Every once in a little while.

you know what? i just wanna redo my whole life.

i'd be a different me.

'Are we human, or are we dancer?'
he's asking if we're humans with our own minds and individuality or dancers who portray the image that we're all the same following the same beat dancing the same moves.

i LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this song (thanks to my sis who sent it to me)! i actually put the MTV version first but i changed to the Live version cos its SO DAMN GOOD OMG!!

and hello to rainy days <3

i had the worst dream, ever.

okay first i was like in a house eating sandwich then suddenly one of the people in the house became crazy (pity too cos he was pretty hot, which goes to show you can't be hot and not have a major flaw somewhere else). and suddenly i was trying to escape through a window.. which was stupid cos it had grills. bite me.

so anyway, crazy guy dragged me back into the house which suddenly turned into some desert like barn. he started cutting up our bodies, yar when we were still alive. this part was kind of a blur and i was supposed to be dead but apparently i survived that. but when he set our bodies on fire, i tell you. i could feel myself burning and it was so fucking painful i teared. yar, real tears when i woke up my pillow had drops. and i only remember him saying "i'll be back to check on you." so i didn't dare to move. i wondered if any of my friends were burning alive too.

yup then the next thing i knew, everything was black and charred. then i just went to sleep (im pretty sure i died, duh). but when i woke up i was in another house and apparently i was this whole other person. a totally new person and i was conscious of what just happened to me in my 'past life'. but to everyone i was a whole new Cherryl, someone they had known for years and i didnt just die. so i played along. i saw the murderer (apparently he's friends with all my 'new' friends) but i smiled and pretended i didn't know him. he looked really scared though but i was trying so hard to act normal cos i didnt wanna die again. pfft.

and i only remembered i was trying so hard to call geok on my phone but i kept pressing the numbers wrongly even though i KNEW the number. and like the murderer just kept looking from a distance, it was hell cos i can't let him know i remember geok otherwise he'll know im the person he just killed or something. oh god.

well as usual, i went to Dreammoods to check out my dream.

Murder

To dream that you are murdered, suggests that some important and significant relationship has been severed and you are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions.

Fire

To dream that you are being burned by fire, indicates that your temper is getting out of control.(definitely true) Some issue or situation is burning you up inside.

Ashes

To see ashes in your dream, signifies bitter changes and disruptions. Ashes may represent a failed relationship or a ruinous business enterprise. You may be feeling that the good times are over and nothing of value is left in your life. Alternatively, you may be dwelling too much on the past. You need to learn to let go.

Burning

To dream that you or someone is being burned alive, suggests that you are being consumed by your own ambition.

i feel like i am even more screwed up by my dreams than reality hahahaha. sigh okay. gonna eat, bye.

okay i just opened Google Chrome although i downloaded it for ages already. and boy am i loving the new style. then again, i always get excited when i have new gadgets and stuff to play with, till i get bored. its cool though, now for both google chrome and firefox you can have your own personalised themes but i can't seem to find a simpsons one for chrome so right now im just kinda more swayed toward firefox.......................you're not really interested in knowing which browser i prefer right. HAHAHAAH.

okay, not leaving the house till i absolutely have to.

i think its sad when you tell everyone that its okay but subconsciously you still do stuff that obviously proves youre not okay. why do people keep doing things that don't help in the situation that they are in and keep hoping that this is a dream and something is bound to change in the end so that there will be a happy ending? awwww its so unfair that you're going about your life so normally. if you knew about the misery you're causing others would you still be so happy?
okay that wouldn't make sense to anyone unless you are me but its so hard to keep it all in. ): the more i try to stay away from such feelings the more they come back and disturb me. ):

you know, if i could have it my way, i would choose to live in a world without emotions. i don't care about being human. okay, i'll let everyone else have feelings. i wanna be like the tinman in Wizard of Oz without a heart. i wanna be a robot. oblivious to everyone's feelings so that nothing can affect me. selfish? we all are.