hey. mega emo wave just consumed me. i knew it. all happiness will just go away after a few days. somehow it always comes back to you. i really wish i would knock my head against something and forget everyone. everything. my biggest wish.

anyway i've worked for 2 days and have not quit! yar, it IS a big deal k thnks. it's like going back to school so much memorising to do ): nevermind, i promised myself i'd give retail sales a chance though. yawn. going to bed. still need to work tmr and sunday. fucking retail. lmao. bye.

so fuckingggggggggggggggggggg emoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

p.s if you have a prob with me srsly just tell it to my face and direct it to me. dont be such a cowardly whore.

nobody blogs anymore.

anyway, 4more days. sweat.

那种感觉是真的过了 还是它还会回来呢?

it's always good to know what place you are in at intervals of your life. right now im in a place called Forgetting. slowly slowly slowly (:

yesterday/today was really one of my happiest days in a long long time. (:

guess who i went out with!! the legendary nelson phua!! nelson phua leh!!! and joshua chu!! hahaha not that you're second to nelson okay hahaahah. omg been like years since i saw them but it wasnt awkward at all. went to eat applebees at tripleone somerset at 9 something then went to sing k till 5am LMAO. and yay! jiawen came down halfway (: i love you loads jiawen! she's really the only one who will come sing k with me every time i ask her although she has stuff the next day and all.

lmao finally heard nelson sing. you know how long i waited to hear him sing? 6 years. LMAO. he say he owe me jaychou's qing tian since sec 1. so finally he can pay off his 'debt' hahaha. and today is his birthday so happy birthday nelson phuaaaaa. i hope you feel bad forever for not wanting to take a picture with me hahaha. nah im kidding. joshua is so nice too! he sent me home first although it would have been shorter to go to his house first haha.

wah i don't know how long since my blog had so many 'haahahahahaha's man. but i feel really happy now! i didn't think of a SINGLE emo thing since the time i met them till now. yea N trumps F. ;)

i have work at like 12pm HAHAHA OKAY I THINK I SHOULD GO SLEEP NOW. im sensible enough to know that i cant be late for work hahaha.

another day has passed.. i'm out with friends and my body is laughing but my soul is staring into thin air. i try. i try to let the smile reach my eyes.. but somewhere along the way it dies out. i truly understand the meaning of pain behind the mask. don't have to ask me whats wrong.. because i myself am not sure. i wish i knew. it would be easier to eradicate the problem if i knew the root of it. right now i'm just lost. its true - these tears have no meaning. i could cry you a river.. but it'd be as dead as i am inside.

im gonna be downright honest here. i absolutely HATE how my friends are getting attached. i don't care if he's all you ever wanted okay. i dont. yes im selfish i want my friends all to myself.

thats what i would say if the world was PERFECT. unfortunately everyone is just moving on with their lives. are memories worth anything? guess not. neither are bonds and ties and all that shit. so congratulations to everyone who thinks they have found the one. i give you ALL my blessings and pls stop being so negative. its like people just keep wanting more and more it makes me sick. just be happy you have found someone whose willing to stick it out with you. if youre so god damn unhappy then just end it and move on.

thats all im going to say. gonna MIA for awhile. cos people can be so selfish sometimes even though you've been there for them all along. so self absorbed with their own problems. sorry im not one who likes to share attention if i could get some. i hate it the most when i talk about my problems and somehow the attention shifts to the other person's problems. surprise surprise? NO, I'VE BEEN LIKE THAT ALL ALONG. and NO IM NOT SELF ABSORBED because when you confide in me i give you 100% attention on YOUR problems only.

awhile back i would have never said all this out because i wouldnt want any of my friends to feel bad. but i srsly dont give a damn anymore? since everything is going down the drain might as well. yea thats rly all. please dont look for me to talk to about your problems i've had enough for now.

naise? NAISE? WHAT KIND OF STUPID LINGO IS THAT. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST TYPE NICE. annoying.

what are you? a travel agent? cos you're sending me on a guilt trip.
HAHAHAHAHAHA homer simpson. word.

seriously, why?

why do we always miss someone we're not supposed to? is it human to want something we can't have? there are a thousand and one people we can talk to but we only want to talk to one and this person is not even inside the thousand and one people. we use all our waking hours trying to convince ourselves that we are stronger than that, that we don't need whoever we're missing. some manage to delude themselves while others just sink deeper into their own misery after failing to do so.

sometimes i think we feel human when we feel pain. the way our hearts twist and beats when we hear that person's name, when we bask in their presence, when we get lost in their words. on the surface we are savoring each second but on the inside we just wanna shoot ourselves because once the day is over you are back to square 1. with the tendency to over analyse everything, everything the person says has 832428423 meanings to it. i just wanna be a mindreader for ONE day. one day is all i need. if i met a genie now thats all i want.

there's this satisfaction in checking if the person you like is online. even though you know they are not going to talk to you, you just feel satisfied knowing that they're online. and when they go offline without talking to you that's when you realise what a shit day it has been. oh! they came online again! yea, the hope kills.

roar. just some things that are keeping me awake. shoot me, do a clean job.

good luck at your reattempt to once again become my nemesis.

had an awesome day out with sam yixiang adrien and fandy.

before that i went to katong's chin mee chin to get some cupcakes and i saw adrien pang!! he's so hot please. his english is so fluent and sexy. whoo. anyway i was caught in the rain and blahblah anyway i was like an hour late to meet the gang. sorry guys, LOVE YOU -PUPPYDOG EYES-

anyway walked from khatib to bottle tree park! khatib is fucking far from any fucking place i think its the last time i'm going back there.


there was only 1 bottle tree. in what sense is this a PARK.

there was this cool dinosaur thing haha.


i think she blends in with the plant, like a stick insect.

lmao sam was pissed when i wldnt get on the cow after she tried like countless times and embarrassed herself HAHAHAHAHA


giant prawn!!!!

washing the prawns and sticking a stick through them to cook. cruel, so let the guys do HAHAHA




lmao sam hates this photo cos she looks like a satay aunty


not bad hor!



LOL i love this photo so cute.







i didnt drink!

i really hate alcohol btw. i dont think its cool in any way and it makes me sick.

i have the face shape of a cow.


our dinner at some bbq korean place opposite haw par villa.


ya after that we were trying to see if we could capture scary images with our cam.


not working. lmao. so today was really awesome btw. (: except that when i was taking a bus home from harbourfront i needed to pee so badly but i didnt wanna get off the bus so i held in my pee for 1 hour plus till i got home. NEXT TIME THEY WANT A LOCATION IM GOING TO SAY EAST COAST LOL.

so whats worst? wanting to pee, wanting to vomit or having stomach ache on public transport. i've had all of them and from experience i think wanting to vomit is the worst. cos its those AT-YOUR-THROAT vomit and you hv no choice but to get off the bus. i've had AT-YOUR-ASS stomach ache too but somehow i managed to overcome it. whoohoo.


"你的明天有多快乐， 不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了， 伤口愈合
也撤消我在想你的资格"

exactly what im feeling now.

okay, i don't think i'm that strong after all. time is running out and i wish we had more together before we part ways. that would really make me sad for months.
i know no one bothers to read what i write after a long post of pictures lmao.

"Brothers and Sisters have i none.
But this man's father is my father's son"
Brain teaser.

HAHAHAHAH SO COOL AH.

sucks. sam is right. i'm like fucking back to square 1. i like having the queasy stomach aches and the anticipation of receiving a text from someone you like but i hate it when it becomes one of those situations where you can't fucking get past a day w/o hearing from them. damn frustrating. i guess i wasn't ready to be one on one with you yet. cos now there are just surges of memories from the day we met till now. its the expectations i swear. the fucking expectation that since you msged me when you needed me you would be bound to do it even after i helped you. STUPID OR WHAT. YOU THINK EVERYONE LIKE AN ANGEL AH CHERRYL LUM. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP EXPECTING THINGS TO HAPPEN. OMG! OMG! OMG! WHY DO SUCH PERIODS IN MY LIFE HAPPEN SO OFTEN. why can't i just let things go. why why why why why why why why why do i need a real hard fall to get over things. WHY AM I SO VULNERABLE. WHY DO I ALWAYS MEET PEOPLE THAT I CAN'T LIVE W/O FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME. i doubt there's anyone who had the same feeling about me. omg i'm like fucking left on the shelf. HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA L.

uniboy: i'm getting a chinchilla =D
cherryl: shld pit it against my mice someday
uniboy: it's bigger and it jumps =D
cherryl: don't underestimate my mice
uniboy: okay fine i'm getting a cat.

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA

thank you my dear sister.

sometimes in life, we come close to having that perfect moment with that perfect someone. the mood is right, the place is right, everything but the most important of all - the feeling. as much as you want the experience to be as important to them, it will just be another normal day in their lives..

my mood is so fucking bad i don't even know what to do.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. EXAMS ARE OVER. :D
i know it seems like i only had to endure my agony for like 3 minutes as compared to like those people who have no breaks and are like constantly studying but WHATEVER THIS IS AS MUCH AS I CAN TAKE. im so exhausted. went to lot1 today with sam. all the way at cck. then went tiong bahru to teach f MA. i realised tiong bahru is really damn fucking near to every place. cck to there by train is less than half hour you know. somemore it was near peak hour already like 5 something.

i like the way things are now.

okay i didn't sleep last night, went for exam, studied after school then came back and napped till now. so i'm like half zombie half human now. omg omg omg so sucky i'm gonna finish finance and faster sleep. tmr marks my freedom!!! i have to admit SIM's exam schedule has always been so short and retarded. but yay anyway! (:

i'm eating cheese flavored ruffles and my mice are going crazy from the smell. hehehe cute.

hi there.
am really upset right now because i think i am going to fail my first paper. i didn't really mind failing in JC because it was like... FREE?!!??! $300 TO REPEAT A MODULE IN SIM LEH. I SELL ALL MY ORGANS ALSO NOT SO MUCH. fuck..i just want a pass. otherwise i have been slogging for all the fucking projects for fuck.

it's kind of pointless to tell anyone how upset i'm feeling cos all they say is "oh don't worry lah im sure you will pass!" or "don't be upset! im sure it will be okay!" okay my fucking ass!? i'm fucking honest. if i am prepared for a paper i will never tell anyone that i have not studied. if i tell you there is a 90% chance i might fail THEN JUST FUCKING BELIEVE ME CAN ANOT. then again, there's not much anyone can reply to that either.

fuck much.