The time has come again to sit down and reflect on 2013. I'm not going to lie, 2013 is the year with the MOST changes in my entire life and this is going to be one of the longest reflections I have ever done.
I think with every new year that comes we grow a little more and we become a little more determined to get what we want. So here goes.
[1]
Needless to say, the first major change was my break up with Josh. We both decided that enough was enough and we needed to grow up before we could ever see ourselves together again. Josh taught me to laugh at myself. He taught me not to give a fuck about what other people thought about me because when you're outside with someone you love and you're together; that's all that matters. He taught me to enjoy life by giving me the best he ever had. We were perfect but as Kelly Clarkson would say, perfect couldn't keep this love alive.
The last few months together were painful. I was so unhappy I was losing weight at rapid speeds and even my dad asked if I was okay and why I was losing so much weight. Josh rarely smiled anymore. I cried over how I had changed this once happy-go-lucky ball of joy to a seething ball of fire. His tolerance was dwindling and I could tell that he did not understand why it had to be so difficult. Our love could not overcome life and the countless obstacles between us. And so we did what we thought we would never be able to do, we parted ways. It impacted me in ways I can never explain even until now. It didn't really help that my family wasn't there for any support. I helped myself by getting a tattoo that This too shall pass and I hung onto the words like religion. Keep believing that its true and I became numb to my sadness after awhile.
I have been privileged though, to be able to remain friends with all the mutual people I have come to love so dear over the 2 plus years with Josh. Thank you for being the guy who made me grow up and be more thoughtful for others. Thank you for never ever judging me and the things that I choose to do. Thank you for making me feel special every single day by reminding me that I'm your princess. Thank you for your family that accepts me for who I am and is always showering me with gifts and all. Special thanks to your mom who always thinks of bringing me on trips and shares her beauty packages with me. For being so chin chai and playing mah-jong with me to kill time sometimes. I will miss my lifestyle when I was with you. I will miss the late night joy rides with you, singing at the top of our voices because we owned the world. Thank you for still being one of my best friends.
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[2]
The second major change was growing up and getting my first job as Customer Service Executive in OCBC. I remember spending months on end scouring the internet and newspapers for jobs. After 6 months of hanging out until 7am daily and talking about the future with geok and josh, geok and I finally got called for an interview with OCBC. We had mixed feelings but we were determined to get into a bank some way or other and jump within the banking industry. We prepared hard for the interview and gave it our best.
I remember getting the call from OCBC telling me that I had been accepted for the job. I didn't accept the job immediately although I had been looking for so long. I called geok to ask if they had called her and she said no. I muttered that I may reject the job because I was afraid of change and I didn't want to step into the world without geok. Geok scolded me though, telling me not to be stupid. I could tell she was pretty bummed out but it was not easy to find a job with such good pay for fresh grads and she really wanted me to take it.
That's how I ended up in OCBC meeting so many awesome people. I guess a customer service job is a good way to learn not to treat service staff like shit when you are in the position of a customer. I learnt some things from the job that you will never learn anywhere else. I enjoyed talking to customers everyday and when you meet a grateful customer its always a mood turner. The only downside is that it applies to nasty customers too. I didn't have the patience to deal with shit people who think they deserve to have everything. So as my time in OCBC went by, I decided I couldn't stay there anymore.
Besides the experience, I can not express more how grateful I am to meet a bunch of people whom I can trust with work secrets and whom I can freely bitch to.
{a} Wallis/Walrus
I would have died if I didn't have you in OCBC. I cannot thank you enough not only for generously giving me a lift to work daily even though I am damn 'tu' everyday hahaha. THANK YOU FOR WAITING (although towards the end I bet you were like 'fuck you bitch damn right I'm gonna leave first' hahaha). Also for being in the same team as me and going through what I go through. I cannot imagine not having you opposite me and not having you to brighten up my day. Although we have confirmed that our moods are conversely related but that's what we have each other for.
I still believe that as we go along in life we will continue to make 1 or 2 friends that we will keep and I feel that its really fate that we live opposite each other and can continue to hang out even after we've left OCBC. Thank you for refreshing my 2013 by bringing so many new friends into my life. For always including me in your biker outings even though you didn't have to. For making me gian to buy my own helmet and to learn more about bikes. Thank you for being one of the rare new friends that I feel comfortable enough to go overseas with. Thank you for being a gambling addict like me hahaha. If Glenn bullies you let me know, I help you bully him back.
You've taught me that even when life throws you so many hurdles, you can choose to be strong and smile and laugh. Though of course I know you rather choose to cry luh you big cry baby. Thank you for also introducing me to an awesome guy called Simon Lin who is very weird. hahaha. I love you! Let us work hard and earn lots of money in our new job so we can open our business at 40 years old and quarrel over who will open the shop every day hahaha. I will always be just next door if you want to drink tea and kp about shit. < 3
{b} Parinee/Piranha
Bitch, its so hard to find friends like you who we can have the quietest lunch cos both of us are having a shit day. Its so hard to find friends like you who will actually laugh when I say 'Look at that bitch eating her salad' cos you are totally bitchy enough to get what I mean. Thank you for unintentionally making me laugh if I just had a shit call - every time I see you drag your feet to pantry to take water and drag your feet back to your desk I will laugh. Thank you for showering us with FOOD. Thank you for taking every day in OCBC as dress down day HAHAHA you are damn funny girl.
Thank you for also introducing us to your awesome boyfriend, Dick, who turned out to be a very good gambling buddy too. For letting me tag along on your couple dinners on nights that I had no plans haha. For loving food as much as I do and are always willing to spend to eat. I am truly sorry we had to leave OCBC and leave you there alone but I'm sure you will find other friends or a better job soon. I will continue to jio you for mah-jong and kbox sessions so this is not goodbye. Thank you for being a big part of my 2013. May you and Dick have each other's undying love for life hahaha.
Of course my smoke buddy Nabil who likes to scare the shit out of me when I'm daydreaming and to Sam for teaching me to be careful who I make bets with. Thank you for being a big part of my life in OCBC. : 3
So towards the start of December I managed to clinch a job at UOB as Chargeback officer and I had to say goodbye to all the people that I love in OCBC. It was dreadful saying goodbye but I'm sure our paths will meet again.
[3]
So within the same year, I started my second job at UOB. I am grateful for being able to find a job so quickly. When I tendered at OCBC I actually hadn't found a job and I was half hoping I would be able to get some rest before finding one but God had other plans for me. : 3
I am still into my second week at UOB and I have yet to really get into the job and do what I was hired for; plus its holiday season. But the people in UOB are all so nice to each other. I feel happy that I am able to eat comfortably with my lunch buddies and for the location to be pretty near to my house such that I can sleep later every day. All in all, I'm grateful. Will probably update and bitch more about my job in 2014!
[4]
Last but not least, a big change in 2013 is that I found this guy called Simon Lin. Thank you cupid Wallis for repeatedly making our paths cross and for giving us chances to talk to each other. Baby, thank you for constantly using new 'tricks' to impress me hahaha and for being really sweet although you show it in very weird ways. HAHAHA. Thank you for trying hard to remember what I like and don't like and for riding a little slower and safer whenever I'm around. I may not know all the changes you have made for me as it is still too early to tell but I'm lucky to have found someone who adores me and is proud to bring me to his gatherings.
Thank you for always coming down from Yishun to accompany me and for giving in to me everytime I whine. Although we've not been together for long, I'm in it for the long run and I'm sorry if I had hurt you in any way within these few months as I know I have a very acidic character. I'm not sure where this road will take us but I'm dying to find out. Thank you for keeping me grounded (although too much sometimes) and for supporting my dreams and being happy for me. :3
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{c} Geok
Thank you for not being there and being there at the same time. It's funny but you seem to be able to tell when I'm calling you for fun or when I'm calling you because I really need you to be there for me. And true enough you have never failed to be there for me when I really need you to be. Again, I'm not going to write you a long mushy note because you and I both know it will just make us want to puke. So bitch, I will continue to hound you till you're old and wrinkly and we will still drink pokka green tea and chill because fuck work and fuck sleep right.
p.s Please come back in one piece from the US.
{d} Claire
Thank you for loving me and being an older sister in different ways. I may not understand why sometimes you do what you do and upset everybody but I'm sure that you have your reasons. Thank you for being happy for me everytime I achieve something and for caring enough to say 'Good job' or 'Congratulations' - it really helped me pick myself up. I don't have much to say about us in 2013 as our distance is only growing further but you know I will still be here if you need somebody. Love you.
{e} Mummy and Daddy
Another year has come and gone and both of you are getting older. Yes mummy, you too. Thank you for caring about me in your own ways and for accepting me for who I am. Thank you for being such cool parents and trusting me to make my own decisions as I grow older. I am never ashamed to tell my friends what cool parents I have. I will work hard to give you guys the life you deserve when you are even older and I promise I won't throw you into an old folks home when you are senile daddy. I love you both! I may not be very capable and neat and I love to go out late at night but I hope that you will also take into consideration the little things that I do for you guys. < 3
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2013 had also been filled with regrets and people that I've slowly lost. I'm sorry for not taking the effort to meet up with friends that have constantly been asking to meet (you know who you are heh). It has been a pretty childish and laid back year with the few spikes here and there but all in all I'm grateful that the world did not end in 2012.
Resolutions for 2014
[1] Take a bus to work at least twice a week
[2] By hook or crook, save at least $400 every month.
[3] Always count to 5 before flaring up. Always remember that no matter how unhappy I am, it too shall pass.
[4] Learn my own worth. Don't place people first when you are clearly not their priority.
Happy new year to all and may it have less tears than 2013.
